Message Authorized by RTC for Broad Public Issue to all Scientologists
Church of Scientology Sues QAnon for Infringing Its Copyrights on Selling Fear & Conspiracy Porn
“We in the Church of Scientology are furious with QAnon!” roared Ken Delusion. “Selling paranoia and fear and implaning people is Scientology’s core business market,” Delusion emphasized. “QAnon has no goddamned business trying to cut into our lucrative Fear and Porn market.
Battlefield Earth: Scientology in Crisis
Dr. L. Ron Hubbard has returned to Earth from Target 2 to help guide Scientology organizations through their darkest hours. “By mere observation I have seen that David Miscavige has become worse […]
Scientology Volunteer Ministers Distribute Ten Million Coat Hangers
“Wogs are unbelievably stupid and incapable,” said Ken Delusion, Executive Director of Scientology Public Safety Programs. “Only we in Scientology know how to do anything. We are the experts on the mind, […]
Church of Scientology Mobile Ideal Orgs Roll Out This Week!
“If Scientologists won’t come to the Orgs, then the Orgs will come to them!” COB defiantly declared, this after RTC missionaires discovered the WHY for the cataclysmic 90% drop in Church attendance […]
Church of Scientology: We Have the Breakthrough Process to Guarantee the Success of Adult Stem Cell Treatments
“We in the Church of Scientology have identified the exact WHY for the millions of failures in adult stem cell treatments. We know why these treatments do not work,” said Dr. Stayta […]
Scientologist Grant Cardone Exposed: The Son of Charles Manson
Scientology OT Grant Cardone is creating new and better realities. He is ready to take his Homo Novis game to the next level and wants to take you with him to his 10X Compound in Waco.
David Miscavige Becomes the World’s First OTX Completion. Calls It “The Third Wall of Fire!”
Scientology ecclesiastical leader Mr. David Miscavige emerged “very knocked out but alive” and became the world’s first OTX completion. “OTX literally dessicates a person’s meat body.” said Senior C/S Int Ken Delusion. […]
COVID-19 is Killing Vampires at an Alarming Rate!
“COVID-19 is killing vampires at an alarming rate,” warned Dr. Ken Delusion. “And this includes the vampires who work as Scientology regges.” “Vampires drink infected blood and they die. And when vampires […]
David Miscavige Orders All Scientologists To Be Vaccinated with the Blood of Unkillable Zombies
“It has long been scientifically proven that Zombies are unkillable,” noted Dr. Ken Delusion, Director of Scientology Medical Services. “Therefore, Scientology ecclesiastical leader Mr. David Miscavige has ordered all Scientologists to be […]
OTVIIIisGrrr8! 