OTVIIIisGrrr8!

Church of Scientology Mobile Ideal Orgs Roll Out This Week!

“If Scientologists won’t come to the Orgs, then the Orgs will come to them!” COB defiantly declared, this after RTC missionaires discovered the WHY for the cataclysmic 90% drop in Church attendance by Scientologists.

The false WHY is a Psych virus COB dismissed as a planetary bullbait.

“COB decided early on to pander to the dramatizations of theetie-wheetie Scientologists by spraying down all of the Orgs in Decon-7 on an hourly basis. And yet this created a problem because the hydrogen peroxide in Decon-7 is so aggressive that it has attacked and destroyed the drywall, countertops, e-meters, toilet seats and all of the other surfaces in the Orgs,” said E/D Int Disinfection Ken Delusion.

“But rather than allowing Scientologists to keep serfacking about a virus as an excuse to stay off course and stop coming into the Orgs for sessions, COB has ordered thousands of Mobile Ideal Orgs to fan out across the world.”

“These ‘Orgs on Wheels’ sleep two Sea Org members and are perfectly confined spaces for conducting metered ethics interviews to pull the O/W’s of Scientologists,” said Mr. Delusion. “COB is hellbent on putting Scientologists back on course and in session where they belong.”

“Each Mobile Ideal Org is WiFi equipped so it can run credit cards and do banking from the homes, apartments, barns, hovels, and bridge underpasses where Scientologists have been hiding out,” said Mr. Delusion. “We consider these dilettantes enrolled for the duration of the the universe like the rest of us.”

7 replies »

  1. Classic!! Fleets of Mobile Ideal Orgs canvassing the globe.

    Truly a Wile E. Coyote level of OT displayed here. Although short in stature, COB thinks BIG.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. This is truly wonderful news. Since this fucking round of global bullbaiting hit, the only Bridge action that I’ve seen is moving from under one bridge to the next. And ever since my Telex machine has been disconnected, I’m hoping that one of these Ideal Mobil Orgs will be able to find me and get my ass back on the back porch of eternity.

    Liked by 1 person

      • WTF??? Is this some kind of cruel jest or reverse Joking & Degrading from you in RTC? Like I can afford to buy a Super Deluxe Telex Machine with GPS after going in debt up to me arse by trying to pay for another Intensive so I can finish my ARC Straightwire.

        I think I’m going to give up on auditing and IAS donations and put all my efforts into a genuine Scientology Prosperity Seminar. Grant Cardone, Michael Chan, the Feshbacks, Bill Good and Reed Skatlin can’t be wrong now can they? Those guys are real winners. Maybe I’ll even try to come up with enough scratch to attend one of those Celebrity Centre Seminars put on by real Hollywood nobodies so I can get a job in the entertainment industry. I’ll be on the lookout for that Mobil Ideal Org though. At least they are getting three squares of rice and beans everyday and don’t have to hang out with DB wogs at the local soup kitchen.

        Like

    • We in Scientology have been using ships for churches for decades. Our first big white ship was hit by a train. Our second big white ship was hit by measles and then by the planetary bullbait thing. The Freewinds is making no money and is rotting at the dock.

      Liked by 1 person

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