The Church of Scientology is expanding globally at a faster rate this month than in the previous eleven months and even more so when compared to the previous 6.2 years exclusive of […]
David Miscavige Declares: Meteor Swarms Caused by SP Attacks on the Church of Scientology!
Speaking today from the Religious Technology Center Observatory in Commerce, California, COB RTC David Miscavige declared that the swarms of meteors savaging the Earth are caused by wogs attacking the Church of […]
Top Vatican Exorcist to Become RTC Exorcist!
Speaking today by cell phone from inside the locked trunk of his car into which he had been suddenly thrust for backflashing COB, Church of Scientology spokesmen Ken Delusion announced that Mr. […]
Pope David Miscavige to Lead the Catholic Church!
Church of Scientology leader David Miscavige has irrevocably declared himself Pope Miscavige and will become the Vicar of Christ on Earth during the Papal coronation ceremony to be held at the Vatican […]
Scientology Project Celebrity 2013
In his latest OOD’s (Orders of the Day), Scientology Fleet Admiral David Miscavige announced Scientology Project Celebrity 2013. In the words of Fleet Admiral Miscavige, “The goal of Scientology Project Celebrity 2013 […]
Sea Org Admiral Tom Cruise Denies All Allegations of Abuse, Criminality, Etc.
Sea Org Admiral Tom Cruise recently addressed billions of Scientologists globally concerning the wave of recent attacks on COB RTC David Miscavige and the Church of Scientology. Speaking from the resplendent and […]
Scientology and the Super Bowl
We in the Church of Scientology had planned for months and had everything in place when our big multimillion dollar ad played during the big wog football game called the Super Bowl. […]
Shocking New Data!
We in RTC are releasing shocking new data. Actual surveys indicate that 32.8% of people in the global population are not Scientologists. In other words, wogs still control 1/3 of the planet […]
OT Grant Cardone Speaks on Your Shitty Performances
We in RTC have asked New OT VIII Grant Cardone — a New York Times best selling arthur — to drop by today to ream all of you on your shitty sales […]
Theta Jazz for OT’s!
Scientology spokesman Ken Delusion today announced that as part of the “Softer Side of COB” PR campaign, David Miscavige is releasing his first instrumental jazz album along with fellow Scientologist Chick Corea. […]
OTVIIIisGrrr8! 