Speaking today from the Religious Technology Center Observatory in Commerce, California, COB RTC David Miscavige declared that the swarms of meteors savaging the Earth are caused by wogs attacking the Church of Scientology on a nonstop basis.
COB emphasized that, “Scientology OT Committee Members are using attention beams to pull asteroids into the Earth’s atmosphere where they burn up and explode, this to warn wogs to cease and desist in their nonstop attacks on the Church of Scientology or else! Scientology’s lawyers were unable to stop the unrestrained evil purposes of these SP’s and so now we’re using meteors!,” exclaimed COB.
COB said that Scientology OT’s are here on Earth trying to help, particularly through the Church’s acclaimed social betterment programs such as Narconon, but that a special class of wogs, known as Suppressive Persons, hate it when anyone tries to help because they, as SP’s, are committed to destroying all forms of help ranging from simple courtesy to insanely attacking the miraculous Church of Scientology.”
COB David Miscavige warned that “natural signs and wonders” will intensify as Scientology OT’s focus their power on putting in Ethics on this planet. “All people will submit to the Church of Scientology,” COB pronounced, after which he ominously added, “And the attacks on me had better stop yesterday or I will pour down my Wrath on Earth just as I did on Psychiatry!
“Ridicule my good works one more time and I will use my Scientology powers of destruction to bring in the ‘Big One’ — a true killer meteor — to end cycle on this miserable prison planet,” COB concluded.
In lighter news, a fashion show will be held at CC Int next week to raise money for a statue of Tom Cruise. If COB does not destroy this planet, the statue of Cruise will be placed in the garden of St. Hill near the beautifully resplendent statue of COB RTC David Miscavige: