Scientology Butthurt Cream: For Pain Levels of 2.0 or Greater!


Scientology Butthurt Cream is indicated for butthurt pain levels of 2.0 or greater. What are some examples of when a Scientologist needs to use Scientology Butthurt Cream? Below are three scenarios:

Scenario 1: Your new mobster movie just scored 0 on Rotten Tomatoes and you’re the laughingstock of Hollywood. That’s some serious butthurt pal! And it has a pain level of 2.0 or higher! What to do? Bend over and have your 2D apply Scientology Butthurt Cream liberally to soothe the burning and irritation.

Scenario 2: You’re a global ecclesiastical leader and the internet makes fun of your empty Ideal Orgs. This really chaps your ass! What to do? Bend over and have your COB Assistant apply Scientology Butthurt Cream liberally to soothe the burning and irritation caused by criminal joking & degrading.

Scenario 3: You’re the Executive Director of Scientology Moscow and the Org has just been raided again. This is big time butthurt for you and your entire staff. Time to break out the Ideal Org Emergency Scientology Butthurt Staff Pack! The staff pack can treat up to 120 butthurt staff. Apply by twinning.

4 responses to “Scientology Butthurt Cream: For Pain Levels of 2.0 or Greater!

  1. Just wondering if a Scientologist has no 2D and is feeling extremely butthurt, is the self-application of IAS approved Butthurt Cream a Sec Checkable offense providing the application doesn’t last too long? I’m asking for a friend.

    Liked by 2 people

  2. Butthurt cream is COB’s favorite!! As advertised on Scientology TV!!

    PS search on youtube for: butthurt cream commercial – funny!

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Funny. The ingredients for this cream are the same as truth serum.

    Liked by 1 person

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