2048 A.D. — Scientology Grand Opening of the Golden Deluxe Ark of the Covenant Org in Los Angeles!

DM.2046

(Shoop by Djembe Joe)

Over 50 Scientologists attended the annual grand opening of the Los Angeles Org. This year’s theme was the Org as the “Golden Deluxe Ideal Ark of the Covenant Org.”

COB RTC David Miscavige, 88 years of age, spoke for three hours about “the good old days before the attacks” when Scientology actually stood for something, this although no one seems to remember what it stood for. Scant applause greeted COB’s remarks.

COB, who was breathing from his medical oxygen bottle, spoke of the need to join the “$2.00 a Week 4 COB Club” to help pay for the portion of his medical oxygen not covered by Medicare. And then there the costs of COB’s six month “refreshers” with his robot plastic surgeon Dr. Atari XV of Beverly Hills.

“We had to sell off Flag Land Base and the Orgs after we lost tax exemption back in 2017-2018,” the Chairman wheezed. “So here we are back in Hollywood where we started back trillions of years ago on the wholetrack. And if things don’t improve we’ll have to sell off this place real soon and put the Org in the Hacienda Trailer Rancho down there in Hemet”:

Tom Cruise, who was not in attendance because he was filming Mission Impossible: Lower Intestinal Surgery at Age 88 sent his representative Buddy Nadbag, executive producer of the 2016 film classic Davy CrackPott, a heroic telling of COB’s life.

Three OT’s with Alzheimer’s wandered off during COB’s presentation and are now lost and believed to be in or around the area. Identifiable by their OT-Medical Alert bracelets, citizens are asked to call the Org if these OT’s are located.

3 responses to “2048 A.D. — Scientology Grand Opening of the Golden Deluxe Ark of the Covenant Org in Los Angeles!

  1. Even in 2048, Tom Cruise does his own stunts, won’t speak publicly about Scientology and is planning to marry his 19 year old co-star, making her his 15th wife. The word around the sauna is, Tom thinks she is the reincarnation of L. Ron Hubbard. On the other hand, some say she just has bad teeth, thinning red hair and smokes four packs of KOOLs a day.

    Liked by 2 people

  2. ‘Davy Crackpott’ star Fesster Pustule is livid with envy, as is director Norma Snockers.

    Like

  3. 3 OT’s with Alzheimer’s wandered off! LOL! Oh that shit amuses me

    Like

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s