Masturbatory Activities in the Church of Scientology Must Cease!

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Dr. Frank Wonderman

“Enormous amounts of present time masturbatory activities prevent the Church of Scientology from attaining forward progress,” declared WDC Chairman Dr. Frank Wonderman.

“Instead of clearing the planet, public Scientologists are engaged in the chronic masturbatory activity of auditing — and yet auditing will never raise one’s IAS Patron Status!”

“Auditing is an aberrated 1st dynamic fixation — it is a ‘me me me’ computation — and is therefore criminal ripoff out exchange with the IAS. For this reason, we in the Exec Strata forbid Sea Org any auditing.”

“We in Management do not want Sea Org fixated with the same ‘me me me’ focus as pantywaist publics who hobbyhorse endlessly on their precious mocked up cases. Such indolence is a crime in the present environment in which Psych hammer blows rain down relentlessly upon COB and the body politic of the Church each day!”

“COB has emphatically stated as a technical fact that auditing will never open the door to terminatedly handling the great amounts of 4D suppression the Church  labors under daily. What will confront and shatter 4D suppression is increasing one’s IAS Patron status to the next highest level!”

“Scientologists must immediately cease their vast wholetrack masturbatory obsession with cracking their case or going up their Bridge. What COB wants and needs in PT is massive cash inflows to the IAS. Whereupon, my dear comrades, it becomes self-evident that real case gain, true case gain for eternity, lies in flowing power to COB RTC David Miscavige via the IAS.”

8 responses to “Masturbatory Activities in the Church of Scientology Must Cease!

  1. Which is greater–the number of Scientologists or the number of people engaged in this chronic activity?

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    • Who is a Scientologist? Is it the group that hobbyhorses endlessly in auditing sessions or, is it like we in RTC, those who make a howling charge over the ramparts to rip the still beating hearts from the chests of SP’s?

      Those engaged in this chronic activity do not have the @#$&*@# rank to call themselves Scientologists!

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      • “Is it the group that hobbyhorses endlessly in auditing sessions” Yes, it is a group of people who habitually hand over cash mindlessly. What a worthless hobby.

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  2. It sounds, then, like “cracking your case” should thus go down on the list of sardonic phrases for Onanistic pleasure like “whipping the willie,” “spanking the monkey,” “yanking the crank” and “wrestling the one-eyed trouser snake.”

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  3. If auditing is masturbatory, then you’re not grabbing your cans the right way.

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  4. I was shown a reference one time whilst in session that said “if you squeeze the cans more than 3 times, you’re playing with them.”

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  5. The rise in masturbatory activities can mean only one thing. Tommy Davis is back.

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