Mike Rowe Declared a “Looming Threat” to the Church of Scientology


We in the Church of Scientology have been informed by our wog lawyers that celebrity Mike Rowe has joined forces with the Psychs by openly and publicly supporting Spanky Taylor.  Per Scientol0gy scripture this is a high crime and Rowe has been added to the Scientology Enemies List of 1,892,504,211 Suppressive Persons and growing.

“The looming threat to Scientology posed by Mike Rowe is that he may inspire other celebrities to take a public stand against the Church of Scientology,:” declared Church spokesman Ken Delusion. “This would be a very bad thing as we in Scientology have always claimed celebrities as our exclusive property to control with our intensive mental hygiene program known as auditing.”

“We don’t appreciate Mr. Rowe, or any other celebrity for that matter, poking their big fat noses into Scientology’s business,” Delusion added. “And so for this reason Fleet Admiral David Miscavige has ordered emergency measures be taken.”


Fleet Admiral Miscavige is extremely concerned about the powerful new and emerging “SP Celebrity Centre” clustering around Going Clear and the Underground Bunker.

RTC Emergency Directive Q has been ordered: The Scientology A Team will confront and shatter suppression. Mike Rowe will be handled by this hard-hitting team of Scientology nuclear physicists:

And yes, Minister Farrakhan is a Scientologist. He has a duty to step in and help confront and shatter fourth dynamic suppression.

7 replies »

  1. Seeing how Mike Rowe is a celebrity spokesman for the Ford Motor Company, would it be prudent to declare all Ford cars and trucks Potential Trouble Sources, just as a precaution?


  2. People like Mike Rowe can’t accept Scientology is expanding bigger and faster than ever…wasn’t he in Neurotology for awhile?


  3. WTF? I’m half way to NY to protest SNL and I get a call to go to San Fran to protest Mike Rowe. Who the fuck is running this show? I’ve been up 47 hours and have no idea where I am.


  4. Did you notice the ‘white faces’ around 14:52?
    Looks like COB is forcing some ‘interfaith’ dialogue…..bwhahahhahaha


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