We in the Church of Scientology have been informed by our wog lawyers that celebrity Mike Rowe has joined forces with the Psychs by openly and publicly supporting Spanky Taylor. Per Scientol0gy scripture this is a high crime and Rowe has been added to the Scientology Enemies List of 1,892,504,211 Suppressive Persons and growing.
“The looming threat to Scientology posed by Mike Rowe is that he may inspire other celebrities to take a public stand against the Church of Scientology,:” declared Church spokesman Ken Delusion. “This would be a very bad thing as we in Scientology have always claimed celebrities as our exclusive property to control with our intensive mental hygiene program known as auditing.”
“We don’t appreciate Mr. Rowe, or any other celebrity for that matter, poking their big fat noses into Scientology’s business,” Delusion added. “And so for this reason Fleet Admiral David Miscavige has ordered emergency measures be taken.”
TOP SECRET — EYES ONLY — RTC EMERGENCY DIRECTIVE Q
Fleet Admiral Miscavige is extremely concerned about the powerful new and emerging “SP Celebrity Centre” clustering around Going Clear and the Underground Bunker.
RTC Emergency Directive Q has been ordered: The Scientology A Team will confront and shatter suppression. Mike Rowe will be handled by this hard-hitting team of Scientology nuclear physicists:
And yes, Minister Farrakhan is a Scientologist. He has a duty to step in and help confront and shatter fourth dynamic suppression.