Lorne Michaels of SNL Arrested by the Church of Scientology

“This so-called SNL ‘parody’ is yet another Psych-funded Black PR attack upon the Scientology religion,” declared Church spokesman Ken Delusion.

Speaking with more than his usual degree of outrage, hostility, and bitterness, Delusion emphatically stated, “This disgusting mockery of Scientology caused Captain David Miscavige to order SNL be Fair Gamed, stalked, harassed, sued, and screamed at on public streets by Scientologists.”

“Captain Miscavige  further ordered SNL producer Lorne Michaels arrested on charges of felony joking & degrading.”

“An investigation by Freedom Magazine has revealed an unholy Psych-infested conspiracy between Lorne Michaels, the Illuminati, the Trilateral Commission, the Bilderbergers, the Rockefeller-Big Pharma Syndicate, and the usual merchants of chaos in SMERSH, NRO, NSA, NBC, CIA, FBI, and Wall Street.”

“Michaels was taken into custody early this morning following a pre-dawn raid on his home by OSA. After being  punched in his face a few dozen times by Captain Miscavige, Michaels was thrown into the Hole with the rest of the SP’s.”

12 responses to “Lorne Michaels of SNL Arrested by the Church of Scientology

  1. Jimbo Threeman

    Popcorn is nothing but a gateway drug to a life of crime, and Lorne Michaels has been a chronic popcorn abuser for decades. This just goes to show that when you live by the corn, you’re bound to get popped sooner or later.


    • Well said Jimbo. CCHR studies confirm that popcorn leads to harder snacks such as beef jerky, cashews, and even beer chased by bourbon. Where does it end people?

      It ends with a bunch of wogs J&D’ing about Scientology. Effin wogs! We hate em!


  2. Lorne Michaels is also short. Short in a bad way, not like a 5’1″ short, but short an evil way. He’s short short.


  3. From Jack99 @ the Underground Bunker:


  4. I have my placard printed – “SNL Bigots are Destroying my Future of Infinity!!! Don’t as-is them”
    I have my Nazi uniform on and ready to march.


  5. David Miscavige is planning his revenge. Lorne, as you know lots of popcorn and police on their way, but also check your toothpaste!


  6. Humor sucks and is stupid. Fuck you SNL!


  7. whostolemycog

    We stand tall!!


  8. Make no mistake about it, this filthy SNL parody makes a demented mockery of everything Scientology stands for.


  9. i have written my cable company and told them to cancel my subscription to NBC. That is my blow to shatter this suppression.


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