Church of Scientology Emergency Standby Medical Letters



January 17, 2015: Church of Scientology attorney Gary Soter filed an emergency motion to prevent Scientology International Justice Chief Mike Ellis from attending a scheduled deposition in the Garcia lawsuit. As covered by Tony Ortega, Soter claimed that Mike Ellis was too sick to attend. Scientology doctor Megan Shields diagnosed Ellis. All of this seemed to convenient to get Ellis out of what is going to be a very tough deposition for him as he seeks to defend Scientology’s dubious and self-serving “arbitration” system.

13 replies »

  1. I really wish I could help out with some touch assists, but my leprosy is flaring up again. Can anybody lend a hand?


  2. I’m a little Dictator
    Short and stout
    Here are my fists, here is my pout!
    When the Thursday stats come in
    Here me shout
    What a load of fucking SPs you are
    I’ll now Declear you out!


  3. Why no mention of the actual cause of what are merely symptoms? Whether a runny nose, angina, or even cancer, all physical maladies are directly the result of a thetan being PTS to an SP. The proper course of action is not medical treatment, but the PTS rundown. Get on the cans!



  4. From the desk if Mike Ellis
    Dear Captain Miscavige,
    I am morbidly obese and have serious medical conditions. I need to see a doctor and get treatment. This is of utmost concern as I need to get in better condition so that I might be in better shape for my deposition in the Garcia case and possibly the hearing.

    From the desk of David Miscavige
    To: Megan Shields
    All MLO’s
    See to it that Ellis gets a dire diagnoses when he comes in to see you. Treat his morbid obesity with a 6000 cal/day high fat diet. Do not recommend any exercise or treatment.


    • Excellent shortsightedness there, however, if Ellis were given a 6000 calorie a day diet, wouldn’t that mean that 10-20 Sea Org members would be without any for for each day he was given those 6000 calories?


  5. ‘Quesiness’? I don’t think so. It’ll be a cold day in the hole before those DBs are served cheese with their rice and beans.
    Sneaky doctor Meg with her secret CI coded messages.


  6. Dear Dr. Shields,
    I note some intriguing data in your admirably concise sick-notes: you may well be the first practitioner outside Europe to have diagnosed the recently-
    isolated “NEUERALGIA” syndrome; being German, it is of course a much more efficient algia than the former “ALTERALGIA” – I myself have found it to be some 25% more profitable, on average.
    However, the “BUBONIC PLAQUE” you describe as producing the symptom
    of “QUESINESS” should have been treated far sooner: the only sure remedy when it has reached the quesadilla-secreting stage is to use a stiff wire brush on the affected teeth with a strong sodium hypochlorite bleach (preferably the thick sort used to remove stubborn stains from bidets, septic tanks, etc.)
    Hoping that your practice is burgeoning,
    I remain,

    Hieronymus Strabismus,
    (Inventor and sole proprietor of the Strabismus Psychotimeter):
    Strabismus Psychotimeter


    • ——————-CONFIDENTIAL EYES ONLY————————–

      Dear Dr. Strabismus of Utrecht,

      COB RTC David Miscavige became aroused in the presence of your gleaming German E-Meter. COB would like to fly immediately to your salon in Utrecht for urgently needed treatment of his neueraliga-like pestilence that is not yielding to standard GAT II Technology.

      COB fears he may have contracted a GAT II resistant strain of neueraliga-like pestilence during his recent trip to Miami with his aide-de-camp Mr. Danny Sherman.

      COB is cold, ice cold. He need special help.



      • COB certainly does need special help: Utrecht is in the Netherlands, not Germany (I had to move to my present Regent St. premises after a silly misunderstanding with the town council). However, together with my mysterious Oriental assistant Nurse Tsai-Chin Proutley, I stand ready to assist (for a suitable fee).


  7. I must point out Valerie, that the Sea Org warrior priests are selected for their stamina and fervent belief in the noble KSW premise of the greatest good for the greatest number of dynamics. Forgoing their normal cordon bleu cuisine for a few weeks would also help in running out the toxins in their bodies.

    As long as they were given sufficient water and air in the correct amounts as prescribed by the highly experienced Dr Shields there would be adverse effects.

    The importance of Mr Ellis not falling prey to anorexia at this time transcends all other considerations.



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