Ask COB Anything

DM.Sydney.3Time once again for one of our favorite features:

Ask COB Anything!

We in RTC are engaging in this unusual solution in order to out create the 500,000+ views (and climbing) YT video that some SP got when he filmed three key Sea Org who were on a mission of mercy to handle him.

32 responses to “Ask COB Anything

  1. COB RTC, Sir, I have come into money, is Warren Buffet unstable and crazy with his money, therefore are church donations better?

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  2. Glad you asked. Warren Buffet lost $2 billion this week when Coke and IBM earnings tanked. Conversely, OT’s who upgraded their Patron statuses are winning like never before. The average annual THETA return on IAS donos is 47X.

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  3. Dear COB, just like yours my hair is curly. What is the best hair conditioner?

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  4. Jenny Linson is truly a theta ray of sunshine! Tell me sir, is this from the Cause Resurgence rundown or have you been giving her the goldenrod on a regular basis?

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  5. dear COB,
    I was wondering how big your “Little Thetan” is?
    Because I heard you played hide the salami with The Psycho woman harassing Marty as well as your communicator.

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  6. 500,481 What do we do now? More questions?

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  7. Yo Cobbie…saw in the latest pics from England you was rockin a wedding ring again. Whazzup wit dat?

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  8. Does COB like to give GoldenROD or receive it?

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  9. (Note: WordPress ate a comment. flyonthewall asked COB wtf is COB’s problem)

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  10. Will you be deposed in the NAFC lawsuit?

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    • COB: “The NAFC lawsuit will fail to stop me in my plans for world domination just as Anonymous and the internet have failed to stop me. I am dauntless, defiant, and resolute. I also wear a very expensive cologne called Eau de Diktator and am fragrantly scented with the smell of money.”

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  11. COB, how many more lawsuits will The Ham be filing in the next 12 months? How many can you afford? How can you say you don’t control Narconon when you bragged about it on your Nightline interview and did the ribbon cutting there?

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  12. Dear COB,
    I’ve watched this video several times, and I have to say: I really like the looks of this Jenny Linson. You can almost feel the warmth of her personality crawl through the computer screen and wrap itself around your neck…or whatever.
    I’ve read over on Marty’s blog that Ms. Linson is one of your 2D’s, along with Lou. So, what’s the deal on becoming one of your out 2D’s? Is it better to look like a teenage boy, like Lou? Or are you more inclusive in your tastes? Not to brag, but I’m quite the catch — I have most of my own limbs and some of my own teeth. Also, I’m no stranger to contests. I’m proud to say that in the trailer park where I live, I won the title of “Psycho Stalking Queen.”
    Anyhoo, I’d like to know what the audition process is, if I’m going to prep up for it.

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    • What happened to Shelly?

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      • NO, jgg2012, NO! Did no one learn from the Leah Remini episode, when she asked the same question?
        Please report to ethics handling immediately and prepare for intensive sec checking to handle your CI to COB. As everyone knows, Freedom Medal of Valor winner Tom Cruise spoke to a universal truth when he stated that Captain Miscavige is the leader of leaders. Wogs, degraded beings, and bitter defrocked apostates on the fringes of the Internet are not allowed to question COB’s ecclesiastical right to live like the ruling faction in the House of Saud.

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      • What happened to L. Ron Hubbard’s 3 wives?

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    • COB to Thetaesque: “I like my women the way I like my wog lawyers: Servile and submissive to me while being completely vicious, deceptive and 1.1 to others when so ordered by me. Other than that, they should be ugly because I don’t want anyone around me who is more attractive than myself.”

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  13. Do I ask too many questions?

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  14. Dear COB RTC,

    I own a small but growing business. My employees live in work in a set of double-wide trailers, and they are so enthusiastic about the company that they’d rather eat-in at the office than lose work time by leaving for meals. I like to reward that kind of work ethic, so I have meals brought in for them.

    The problem is, one of the new whiney bastards claims he’s allergic to beans. I didn’t believe him at first, but man, he was NOT kidding. You know the scene in Willy Wonka & The Chocolate Factory where the girl chews the gum and blows up like a balloon? It was like that, except he was bright red. He’s fine, but some of the swelling has yet to subside. I’ve called him Stay Puft ever since. Hehe.

    Anyway, if Stay Puft died it would be a major hassle and I don’t need the headache, so beans are out. My question is if you can recommend a cheap source of protein I can buy in bulk to keep these busy, happy bees fed?

    Thank you.

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    • COB: “Don’t ever change your operating condition because one person is putting dev-t on your lines. Stay Puft should be shipped off to Honduras and dumped in the street. People die. Make him a problem for Honduras and move on.”

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  15. COB, did you see the cover of this week’s New Yorker Magazine? Isn’t that cover a picture of Scientology’s Comm Ev?

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  16. How do you feel about Tom Cruise swapping out the blue ribbon on his Freedom Medal of Valor medal for a cheesy gold chain? Is this an example of a Tech Degrade?

    Like

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