Captain Miscavige Declares Flag Down an Illegal Criminal Assembly

CDM.10Captain David Miscavige today declared Flag Down an illegal criminal assembly.

Captain Miscavige additionally banned Church parishioners from going anywhere within 3000 nautical miles of Flag Down.

Comrade Dr. Frank Wonderman, CO Ethics and Image

Comrade Dr. Frank Wonderman, CO Ethics and Image

“This 3000 nautical mile SP exclusionary zone is intended to protect Church parishioners from coming into contact with any newspaper or television coverage of Flag Down,” declared Comrade Dr. Frank Wonderman, CO of Ethics and Image.

“As a result of the SP exclusionary zone, all 512 Scientology parishioner in Florida have been ordered to relocate to the Seattle Ideal Org for the duration of Flag Down. Tents, cots, and porta-potties have been set up in the Org parking lot. A small fee of $5,000 per person will be charged for these amenities.”

Dianetics Tank Battalion 7 has been deployed to guard Flag Land Base against the bands of marauding SP’s, Psychs, and Marcabs expected to attend Flag Down.

“As an added precaution, all Flag Land Base personnel will be evacuated to Pac Base in Hollywood for the duration of Flag Down.”

“Dianetics Tank Battalion 7 has also been deployed to guard Flag against Flag Down and its so-called free speech.”

“‘Free speech’ is not the freedom to attack the Scientology religion,” Comrade Dr. Wonderman emphasized in his RTC-approved remarks. “Moreover, this entire Psych-funded Flag Down event was staged only because GAT II has gone into highest ever  straight up and vertical screaming affluence and so the Psychs are now fighting back in their death throes like savage cornered animals.”

church-of-spiritual-technology-trementina-base“I myself will be personally coordinating all activities concerned with Flag Down from the RTC Strategic Command Bunker here at Trementina Base,” Comrade Dr. Wonderman stated in his prepared remarks.

“Finally, as of 0100 hours 3 May 2014, Captain Miscavige has placed the entire Church of Scientology into CONFUSION for allowing Flag Down to happen. We as a group have failed Captain Miscavige and deserve only to suffer up through the conditions.”

15 replies »

  1. I am afraid 3000 nautical miles away might not be far enough to protect the theta from entheta. I humbly suggest Cincinnati Ideal Org of Florence, Kentucky. They can use some “bodies in the shop”. No offense to Seattle Ideal Org. I am so sick and tired of god damned SP’s trying to jeopardize the planetary clearing! Good thing I am in Tone 40 and my ARC is huge!


  2. Yes, fleeing with theta tails tucked between legs is a wise idea given the magnitude of hateful entheta that is likely to be seen at the “Flag Down” SP and Fifth Invader Fleet conference.

    And leave it to our brilliant leader to find a way to use this crisis to fund social betterment activities like “The Way to Drunkenness” (COB’s scotch slush fund) with a very reasonable “fee of $5,000 per person” to stay at the theta Seattle island of sanity. All Scientologists should be proud to flow power toward COB while fervently praying to Him and reading aloud from their basic books to protect themselves from Satanic whole-track suppression!!!


    • Satanic is superstitious nonsense caused by the R6 implant which you will learn about you are ever worthy enough to take OTVIII. Psychanic, and Xenuanic are the words you should be using to describe suppression of this magnitude.


  3. I predicted an order like this was coming. I had to sell my car and some other possessions for the $5,000 fee, so I just started Forrest Gumping it towards Seattle. Luckily, a very kind trucker pulled over and said he was headed that way, too. He said he never picks up “strays,” but made an exception in my case because I have a “purdy fine lookin trunk.” It’s actually a suitcase, not a trunk, but it’d be rude to correct him on a such minor detail. Anyway, we’re making great time, we just passed a “Welcome to South Carolina” sign! Woohoo! See y’all in Seattle!


  4. Wonderman should be thrown in the hole for suggesting there are so few members at Flag. More to the point, for the benefit of all the snide J&D commenters here, in truth Our Glorious Dear Leader is barely able to keep up with all the openings of the millions of rapidly rising iConIC iDeal Orgs. You will all be sorry black cinders in space and the very last ones to ever be freed. So there!
    Oh, I am sooo grateful to be on the right side of the fence.


  5. Very good hatting action – thanks. The source data on propaganda lines and how they are carefully worked out is HCOPL 9 June 1975 PR Series 26 The Enemy Line. Rolling back those who use propaganda lines like “Kool Aid” against Scientology inevitably lead to the bankster cult’s Intel agencies – CIA/MI6/Mossad etc. – and so give us the identity of the propaganda agent’s masters. It’s good 4th dynamic auditing.


  6. Only 5k for a cot in the great outdoors of Oregon and use of a communal porta-potty? Ken Delusion and Frank Wondermann have done themselves proud and at 10% commission, made enough to redeem their COB birthday gift pledges.


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