Captain Miscavige Declares “60 Minutes” a Criminal SP Group


Comrade Dr. Frank Wonderman, General Secretary, Soviet Scientologists Central Committee for Television Policing.

“Captain David Miscavige acted with swift ferocity in declaring the Psych-funded wog television show 60 Minutes a criminal SP group,” announced Comrade Dr. Frank Wonderman today at a special emergency plenary meeting of the  Soviet Scientologists Central Committee for Television Policing.

“60 Minutes is like a mad dog that rages and foams at the mouth,” Comrade Dr. Wonderman thundered as he spoke to the assembled Super Power delegates in the Great Hall of Supreme Miscavogium.

“And like a mad dog, 60 Minutes needs to be put down before its depredations against Chairman Captain Miscavige are aired this Sunday!” roared Comrade Wonderman. Whereupon, all 15,280 Super Power delegates jumped to their feet and began calling for the complete and total obliteration of the electronic television medium itself.

“Following their heated ecclesiastical uproar, the Super Power delegates enjoyed a repast of free pie, cake, and pizza. Free refreshments for publics, you see, were recently mandated by Chairman Captain Miscavige as a necessary means to keep our attendance stats up. Thereafter, a unanimous and binding resolution was passed by the Soviet Scientologists Central Committee for Television Policing calling for the television medium to be destroyed so that programs like 60 Minutes will never be seen on this or any other planet.”

7 replies »

  1. Capt. Miscavige is too famous to put up with 60 min. They might ask about his ribbons. Where did he get them and just what do they mean? What if they ask about Shelly. He has a religion to run. Where’s the respect he damands? Look if he doesn’t have time for children, the elderly, the degraded Sea Org and his wife does 60 min.think he has time for them? Damn SP’s. What’s a totalitarian, megalmaniac, dictator suppose to do when no one plays by his rules? This won’t do. He will Fair Game all of you SP’s. Expect to be “sued, tricked,lied to” and destroyed. As for 60 min. the only place you will be seen in on tv land right after Krusty Alley’s failing show. Capt. Miscavige has staff to beat up, so off with you.


  2. This is outrageous! Being lied about like that on national television by a bunch of criminal hypocrites, I say take them to court immediately and let the court case last forever! That´ll teach them a lesson!


  3. Oh my Gawd! It´s much worse than I imagined. 60 Minutes isn´t just aired on national television. It´s aired on INTERNATIONAL television. I watch 60 Minutes all the time on Danish television.

    Taking every single television station to court across the planet, who sends 60 Minutes, with 22 lawyers in each court defending Scientology, is going to be a huge task – requiring some major donations to the IAS. Not just little stingy amounts like $10,000 or $20,000! MAJOR contributions will be needed to stop this harassment and suppresion of our religion!

    Because it´s worth it!


    • Yes Birgit yes! You get it and understand our need for 10,000 wog lawyers! You understand the need for MAJOR donations. These CICS publics need to step up and go all in. And so do SO members who have money or inheritances!


  4. This is what happens when you suppress real news such as how the Church of Scientology is singlehandedly spearheading the missing Malaysian plane location effort with the Way to Happiness!

    These disgusting SPs will stop at nothing to make COB look bad!!!


  5. Dear ecclesiastical leader needs to take a firm & authoritative grip on the microphone over this flap. Order all CI staff, public & SP’s alike to get out on to Hollywood Boulevard and start sucking! If COB has to lead by example, then so be it, after all he is the only one on source.


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