“Captain David Miscavige acted with swift ferocity in declaring the Psych-funded wog television show 60 Minutes a criminal SP group,” announced Comrade Dr. Frank Wonderman today at a special emergency plenary meeting of the Soviet Scientologists Central Committee for Television Policing.
“60 Minutes is like a mad dog that rages and foams at the mouth,” Comrade Dr. Wonderman thundered as he spoke to the assembled Super Power delegates in the Great Hall of Supreme Miscavogium.
“And like a mad dog, 60 Minutes needs to be put down before its depredations against Chairman Captain Miscavige are aired this Sunday!” roared Comrade Wonderman. Whereupon, all 15,280 Super Power delegates jumped to their feet and began calling for the complete and total obliteration of the electronic television medium itself.
“Following their heated ecclesiastical uproar, the Super Power delegates enjoyed a repast of free pie, cake, and pizza. Free refreshments for publics, you see, were recently mandated by Chairman Captain Miscavige as a necessary means to keep our attendance stats up. Thereafter, a unanimous and binding resolution was passed by the Soviet Scientologists Central Committee for Television Policing calling for the television medium to be destroyed so that programs like 60 Minutes will never be seen on this or any other planet.”