CoS: Oh my Gaaaaaaaaawd! COB! COB! He’s locked himself in his bedroom and he’s screaming and smashing everything! COB has clearly gone Type III!
911: Who? Who is COB?
911: Is this Int Base calling again about Mr. Miscavige?
CoS: Yes it is!
911: And is this Norman Starkey calling again?
CoS: Yes it is and, and — well I’m just about to go Type III myself and start screaming and throwing things….
911: Calm down please Mr. Starkey. Why has Mr. Miscavige locked himself in his bedroom this time?
CoS: BECAUSE A WOG JUDGE IN TEXAS SAID THAT THE CHURCH OF SCIENTOLOGY IS A BUSINESS! WE ARE NOT A BUSINESS WE ARE A RELIGION!!!! WE ARE NOT A BUSINESS!!!
911: Mr. Starkey please don’t call 911 for non-emergency matters.
CoS: HOW DARE YOU! THIS IS AN EMERGENCY! I EXPECT 911 TO SEND CARS HERE AND SAVE THE CHURCH OF SCIENTOLOGY FROM THIS CRIMINAL RULING!
911: Sir, 911 can’t save the Church of Scientology from its own stupidity. Now stop whining and don’t call 911 unless it’s a real emergency! *CLICK* bzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz