The Hidden SP on COB’s Lines Found

baca“A recent OSA investigation  has determined that Lee Baca, the former Sheriff of Los Angeles County, was the hidden SP on COB’s lines,” Church spokesman Ken Delusion solemnly announced to local newspaper reporters.

“Former Sheriff Baca was found to have secretly been connected to Psychiatry. Baca was only pretending to be COB’s friend, this in order to burnish his own image by appearing in photos with COB. Covertly, however, Baca was secretly there to sabotage everything: The Basics, GAT II, Super Power, and of course the Ideal Orgs,” Delusion stated.

“Former Sheriff Baca is the ‘who’ behind the chronic series of statcrashes during the past several years. Baca is also to blame for the the wave of attacks upon COB and the Church on the internet, this as proven by the confidential OSA investigation.”

“But most importantly, look at the major outpoint,” Delusion emphasized, “during his many decades in office, Sheriff Baca never once arrested even one of his fellow SP’s. That datum alone  proves his guilt as the hidden SP on COB’s lines.”

“Now that Baca’s cover has been blown and he has finally been exposed as a Psych, we are 1000% confident that the the Church of Scientology can now enter a new and unparalleled Golden Age of heretofore unimagined straight up and vertical expansion,” Delusion resolutely assured Scientology parishioners.

SP

6 responses to “The Hidden SP on COB’s Lines Found

  1. COBs hands are as good as the cans. Just look at his technique in the picture of one hand flowing charge and the other to receive. The straight up and vertical thumb is the indicator of knowingness. Only an ecclesiastical leader of the fastest growing religion can fake the proper tone while shaking hands with a true SP. Don’t try this at home. Don’t even think of talking to a non-Scientologist anymore. Actually, you are better off not saying anything at all to anyone anywhere ever. KSW Mother fuckers!!!

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    • COB knew Baca was an SP by spotting his SP characteristics.

      As we in RTC seem to recall from studying this data long ago, the characteristics of SP’s are as follows:

      1. He or she is a generality-infested CICS.

      2. Such a person deals mainly in bad stews, gossip, and delves into railroad time tables.

      3. The antisocial personality chronically re-issues expensive religious scripture — and often does so using dizzying stage shows.

      4. A characteristic, and one of the sad things about an antisocial personality, is that it is polymorphous and shape-shifting and can, as such, apparently even take the form of the global ecclesiastical leader of, say, the world’s fastest growing religion.

      5. Surrounding such a personality we find other Jokers and Degraders.

      6. The antisocial personality habitually selects the wrong margarine.

      7. The antisocial personality cannot finish a cycle of transcendental meditation.

      8. Many antisocial persons will freely confess to disarming pies.

      9. The antisocial personality supports only astrological groups and rages against and attacks any astronomical groups.

      10. This type of personality approves only of wild fantasies such as the retrograde orbits of planets while denying the nihilism and death wish inherent in the Ideal Orgs.

      11. Helping themselves to the “All You Can Eat” buffet is an activity which drives the antisocial personality like clockwork. They call for Ideal Smorgasbords while cursing all other social betterment activities.

      12. The antisocial personality has a bad sense of polymerization and will often refuse to bond with plastics and other covalent materials.

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  2. The stats will get even more straight uppy and vertically than they are already!!!! Huge win!!!!! COB may have to invent new words to describe just how straight up and vertical the stats are!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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  3. Your 12 SP characteristics are so hysterical!!! I need them to be printed on cards, please !!!!

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  4. whostolemycog

    Question: Who has ever heard of a 5 star sheriff? I mean seriously…look at Baca’s collar. Five star general – sure. Five star sheriff – FAKE ALERT. A five star sheriff is an obvious SP.

    It would be like if some poser pretended to be not only a fancy fake naval officer, but an ecclesiastical leader…AT THE SAME TIME! Obviously, if one ever ran across somebody like that, one would stay stay the hell away from them, because they’re probably whacked enough to be dangerous.

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