Why Do You Hate COB?

Why do you hate COB?

Church of Scientology sec checkers have been finding “I hate COB” as the withhold behind so much of the natter, enturbulation, gross out ethics, and sabotage these days.

We in RTC conducted a hard-hitting investigation which revealed that Church parishioners hate COB for one reason and one reason only: They secretly hate themselves.

Invariably, then, the truth emerged in sec checks: I hate COB because I really hate myself.

Thank you.

You hate yourself.

Your needle is floating.

The only correct handling is the new COB False Data Stripping Course wherein all of the incredibly false data you have about COB will be located and knocked out of your skull by our highly-trained team of 72,341 GAT II auditors.

As part of the mandatory COB False Data Stripping Course you will serve a minimum sentence of 180 days of hard labor in the new Super Power Maximum Security Detention Center.

This ecclesiastical prison sentence is a necessary component of your overall amends project in making up for the damage you have caused by criminally wrong-targeting COB for your hatred.

COB in a wog courtroom using his mental powers

COB in a wog courtroom using his mental powers

A donation of $100,000 to Super Power is required to pay for the costs your incarceration and sec checking. Happily, the $100,000 will be applied toward your next IAS Patron Status.

And now please, time to begin your amends project:

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11 responses to “Why Do You Hate COB?

  1. Well said, Mr. OTVIIIisGrrr8!
    But there is hope. Would like you to share a win from our indy group meeting from tonite. Well, a lady has completed Grade II.
    Now, the win was, she feels herself validated as a being, she fells like being now a good partner, wife, mother etc. And she restored the ability to reach for what she wants.
    Cool, isn’t it?
    Now the wins from the so called church Grade IIs I remember (with a shudder):
    “Thanks God, I’m trough this! Eventually I’m done!” or
    “Thank you for letting me confront, what an evil person I was!”
    Quite some difference! So OTVIIIisGrrr8, don’t worry, be happy, we Indies are Scientology now, and we have the Tech and yes, we apply it.
    No need for hate anymore.

    Like

  2. Because my tax dollars are paying for his crimes.

    Like

  3. The EP of the COB False Data Stripping Course is the exhilarating realization that COB is in actual fact the greatest big being to ever walk upon this whole-track prison planet and moreover we are blessed beyond belief to have Him protecting the priceless tech of Scientology and ecclesiastical fundraising!

    And when even 10 year olds happily give Him all their money you know it’s true! http://www.mikerindersblog.org/the-good-the-bad-the-really-ugly/

    Like

  4. Oh no my auditing room had no bars. Could not be standard. Oh no !!

    I will have to redo everything.

    Like

  5. Who is this woman next DM?

    Like

  6. Brilliant! You’ve made my day!

    Like

  7. Will there be a new campaign to add Ideal Detention Centers to all of the Ideal Orgs? With all the COB haters out there, this space is badly needed.

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  8. Why do people COB?

    “Let me count the ways…” was the #1 answer on this week’s Family Feud.

    Like

  9. Class VIII Koolaid drinker

    Wow, this was the correct indication. My TA is floating. It was so spot on, it basically bypassed the whole Bridge and did send me straight up to OT. Thank you so much. Reading this article, I had so many cognitions, and I would like to share some technical realizations underlying the phenomenon of hating oneself. Deep inside the person knows, that he is grossly out-exchange with COB. Not-ising the real situation, those persons often refer to their bankruptcy proceedings, trying to make themselves right and COB wrong. However, as Scientologists can see right through those justifications, and we have the remedy: 10X all fundraising efforts and the pressure on staff and parishioners. As a bonus, this approach would also increase the necessity level sufficiently, to key out the whole bank, thus bypassing the expensive and time consuming mechanics of training and processing. Of course, COB knew all this already since years, but I am glad, that I finally cached up with this brilliant reasoning. The future is ours.

    Like

    • Your brilliance is highly commended, and, as a result you are hereby conscripted the SO. Teams are waiting outside your doors and windows to lays hands on you and place you into a very large duffel bag. You will be transported to FLB and placed on post as a Reg.

      Like

  10. Pingback: OT IX and OT X to be Released Soon! | OTVIIIisGrrr8!

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