Following COB’s stunning surprise announcement that the new Ultra Mark VIII e-meter would be literally given away for the ridiculously low price of $4,900 on Black Friday, millions of Scientologists began lining up outside of our 115,897 Ideal Orgs at midnight.
“I want to get my hands on ten of those new Ultra Mark VIII’s,” said Scientology OT III Frank O’Neil of Boise, Idaho. “I mean $4,900 for the new meter?! C’mon, it’s a no brainer!”
COB also announced that the Freewinds was selling luxury OT Prosperity cruises at up to 50% off.
“Additionally,” Church spokesman Ken Delusion added, “COB is selling an almost new office building in downtown Clearwater for only $125,000,000. It’s a Black Friday special on a fifteen year old Church property that has outlived its usefulness.”