Wedding Bells to Ring Again for Scientologist Tom Cruise!

COB RTC David Miscavige is personally managing the courtship and marriage of Scientologists Tom Cruise and Laura Prepon.

“Mr. Miscavige has a proven record of success handling the 2D, or marriages, of Scientology parishioners,” Delusion noted.

“Factually, this will be the fourth successful Scientology marriage for Tom Cruise that Mr. Miscavige will be orchestrating from the first date, to the honeymoon, and on through the day-to-day affairs whereby Tom and Laura will write KR’s on each other and then secretly send them to we in RTC.”

“Moreover,” Delusion noted, “COB needs Tom and Laura to star in a new series of tech training videos.”

“The purpose of these videos will be to guide Scientologists  through the GAT II student hat evolution using the new BTB’s after which Method 7 word clearing must be completed before anyone can secure for the night.”

“Of course, this will not happen,” Delusion explained, “until all Scientologists handle their unflatness on the Pro TR’s clay table. And this is where Tom Cruise and Laura Prepon will help COB by acting in tech films that are a wanted and needed 3D VFP.”

“Then again, as Tom Cruise and Laura Prepon both have IAS Patron Instamatic Golden Excalibur status, theirs will be a totally Theta 2d,” Delusion enthused.

“Which is to say their 2D will totally be about KSW.”

6 replies »

  1. Has anybody ever noticed how Tom Cruise has a tooth in the exact horizontal centre of his head? Is that why he’s a Big Being?


    • He has a rare congenital condition that results in one less canine tooth than normal; it also causes infertility. His auditing files have a lot of material on this, which Davey has regaled with others.


  2. It’s great to hear Tom’s needle is floating again. There’s no need for Big Pharma to float Tom’s needle. Remember, if your needle floats for more than four hours, please consult an Ethics Officer.


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