Will There Be Room for You in David Miscavige’s Giant New Scientology Circus Tent?

COB RTC David Miscavige has a giant new Scientology circus tent on the way to Flag Land Base in Clearwater, Florida.

This giant new circus tent is much like the gay and festive tent used for COB’s mass-implanting events at St. Hill:

While COB’s giant new Scientology circus tent is big, the question is this:

Will there be room for you?

With millions of new people joining the Church of Scientology everyday, our Ideal Orgs are filling up faster than Wal-Mart stores selling discount ammo!

PatronMaximusThe bottom line is this: Unless you’re at least a Patron Blovatius ($1,000,000), there will be no room for you inside of the new Flag Ideal Tent!

What we in RTC ask you is this: Where can you get your hands on $1,000,000 this weekend?

Here are some ideas that can help:

* Sell all unnecessary MEST items — and this includes your house — and donate the proceeds to the IAS.

* Borrow as much money as possible from friends and family and then donate to the IAS to guarantee yourself a highly coveted seat in the Flag Ideal Tent. And the good news here is that with COB’s new “Loan Forgiveness Program” you will never have to repay these loans!

* If your employer has some unused money laying around in bank accounts, borrow it with the postulate to repay it. Donate this borrowed money to the IAS.

* Sell your newborn baby through the Ideal Org Baby Farm program and receive 20% of the sale price.

Dr. Eldon Weiner of Freedom Magazine

Dr. Eldon Weiner of Freedom Magazine

Dr. Eldon Weiner of Freedom Magazine said today, “Don’t make COB wrong: Those Scientologists who are too downstat to afford a seat inside the new Flag Ideal Tent will still be able to see COB’s events.”

“Flag Land Base is erecting a series of new Inflatable Ideal Orgs to service those parishioners who are not yet in the ‘Million Dollar Club.’ So yes, the poor Scientologist can take comfort in the fact that inflatable Theta is here and they will be able to watch COB’s speeches from inside of a plastic Scientology church!”

The Inflatable Idea Org: A place for poor Scientologists.

The Inflatable Ideal Org: A place for poor Scientologists!

14 responses to “Will There Be Room for You in David Miscavige’s Giant New Scientology Circus Tent?

  1. I am laughing so damn hard right now OTVIIIisGrrr8! Excellent suggestions from RTC for a truly theta experience!

    Like

    • r2-45 for all wogs

      totally agreed, sc411! i am laughing so hard right now that i can’t even think of anything to say back! once again, otviiiisgrrr8, you have made my day 🙂

      Like

  2. It’s the prettiest ideal Tent E.V.E.R!

    Hoping there will be TSA-like, see-through, X-ray vision scanners,
    and a face-recognition tech, in addition to the authorized picture badges for all the honorable Patron Blovatius’ entering The Tent To Total Freedom!

    We Stand Tall!

    Like

    • r2-45 for all wogs

      excellent ideas, dodo, but i think a bunch of mark super vii quantum e-meter’s will do much better than any x-ray vision scanner or facial recognition machine. i say sec check everyone entering the building as to their intentions regarding cob! you can never be too safe when it comes to the security and welfare of the most important ecclesiastic leader in this galaxy sector!

      Like

  3. WhereIsShellyMiscavige

    These just get better and better!

    Like

  4. When you say this giant new circus tent is “gay,” what exactly do you mean by this OT VIII? I certainly hope you aren’t referring to those out-2D, 1.1 people . . . you know who I’m talking about.

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  5. Inflatable Ideal Orgs, best idea ever! Less $ spent on expensive real estate and renovations, means more $ for IAS coffers!

    Like

  6. Still on your side

    Wow, great idea. An inflatable Ideal Org! Take it anywhere. Here is an outfit that says they can set it up in two hours: “It is simple! Just go out and hire an inflatable church and place it anywhere without digging up lands and laying it with concretes. Just inflate it and place it. . . the inflatable church is complete with inflatable bell tower and inflatable musical organ!” http://www.ecofriend.com/inflatable-church-its-ecofriendly.html. And it is eco-friendly, no trees have to be slaughtered, er, cut down!

    Like

  7. Still on your side

    I forgot to add, I wonder if there are inflatable oiliness tables?

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    • Yes there is an inflatable oiliness table. In fact, we at Flag Land Base are counting on it to really boom the stats. We think every male Scientologists for a million miles around will sign up for the Inflatable Oiliness Table Rundown!

      Men: Need we say more?

      Like

  8. Praise Lrooon that COB knows how to pitch a tent. I guess that isn’t included in Sea Arrgghh training, there being no tents on the sea. Now if you called the boy scouts, you’d have a lot of pitched tents. But then you’d have to put up with all the NAMBLA weirdos……. All Hail COB, master of tent pitching and tree cutting…..

    Like

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