Now we know what really goes on aboard the Scientology ship Freewinds when it’s out to sea: A group whitening process. Bon voyage on your Scientology journey to… a white anus.
“The shocking lab results show that none of the Scientologists aboard the Freewinds has human blood,” declared Dr. Joseph Cheeseman Thompson of the World Health Organization. “Instead, what we found flowing through […]
Wog doctors don’t know anything about OT phenomena. A Scientologist onboard the MV Freewinds recently turned on the measles during her auditing session. However, this case of measles was from a lifetime […]
“Measles are an implant Scientology can handle using New Era Dianetics,” said Scientology chiropractor Colonel Dr. Roberto Cadiz. “As a chiropractor, I see mock ups of so-called serious diseases all the time,” […]
“After two years of work at a cost of $90 million USD, the MV Freewinds has been successfully lengthened to 402 meters (1,319 feet),” announced Captain Mike Napoleon. “The ship will now […]
“It’s not what it looks like,” said Scientology spokesman Ken Delusion. “The Brigadier General was merely helping COB RTC Mr. David Miscavige with a wardrobe malfunction.” “That this was escalated into a […]
The motor vessel Freewinds will be the location of Scientology Media Productions first feature film Buggery on the High Seas. Based on a screenplay by L. Ron Haddock, the film features “rum […]