We in the Church of Scientology wish to make it clear that our religious prison located at the Church’s International Base (Int Base) in San Jacinto, California is a place of uncompromising ecclesiastical discipline where errant Sea Org members are rehabilitated for their own good and that of Scientology:
The Tampa Bay Times has made a big deal out of Scientology’s comprehensive program of religious interrogation, torture, and imprisonment and we in RTC see this as just another Psych attack on the Church of Scientology.
Any thinking person conversant with religious history will understand the need for religious dungeons and torture in order to handle Church members most at risk of becoming heretics or apostates. Scientology’s prisons, its RPF system, KR’s, Introspection Rundown, and other forms of torture and Inquisition exist to save “At Risk Scientologists” from falling away from the Truth. Indeed, COB RTC David Miscavige famously saved Scientologist Lisa McPherson from becoming a bitter defrocked apostate by use of the fully legal and highly effective Tech of Scientology Applied Religious Torture :
The Tampa Bay Times does not understand religious history and, as a result, has once again overreacted in its latest attack on the Church of Scientology.
Inasmuch as Scientology is Mankind’s only hope of salvation, any attack on Scientology becomes a savage attack on Mankind. People need to think for themselves and understand that only Suppressive Persons (SP’s) would attack the Church of Scientology or its leader COB RTC David Miscavige.
In order to protect the ecclesiastical purity of the Scientology religion, we in RTC expressly forbid all Scientologists to read the Tampa Bay Times story of watch the accompanying video on pain of SP Declare:
Inspired by Medieval Catholicism, the Church of Scientology’s system of RPF religious prisons, interrogations, and beatings constitutes a legal and necessary system that is needed to save Sea Org members from becoming bitter defrocked apostates. The Scientology Sea Org is very Catholic in the sense and we applaud Catholicism for being ahead of its time in the RPF it called the Inquisition. Indeed, we in the Church are looking at a new Enhanced RPF modeled on the Catholic Inquisition:
Categories: OTVIIIisGrrr8!
OTVIIIisGrrr8! 
Are you saying they are legal because they are necessary?
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No. We in RTC are saying that Scientology’s dungeons, beatings, and interrogations are legal because:
1. We make the law
2. The FBI and other wog law enforcement agencies are too afraid to stop us.
3. We have obtained influence in major law enforcement organizations so we do not fear these agencies: Cops will take a free lunch or dinner.
In 2013, the Church of Scientology will take brutality to a whole new level now that we know that law enforcement will leave us alone.
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This sounds suspiciously like the effects of inflation over the years. Didn’t the going rate used to be a donut?
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John P., while most cops will take a donut, we in RTC find that gala dinners and jive bands work better, or at least they did on the City of London cops: http://www.guardian.co.uk/uk/2006/nov/22/freedomofinformation.religion
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@jgg2012, no we mean that Michelle Barnett (aka Shelly Miscavige) is literally on post, or actually a pole, as COB has brought back the monastic tradition of pole sitting made famous by Simeon Stylites.
Shelly has been sitting on a pole now for several years as a form of ecclesiastical punishment for having backflashed COB for his minor flirtations with a female Sea Org member, but this is really neither here nor there.
What is important is that Shelly is safe high atop a pole deep inside of a forest in the middle of nowhere owned by we in RTC. Other Sea Org members are out there on post as well and will be for decades to come.
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The apparatus shown in the article at the bottom of your original article looks like another example of how the Catholic church was ahead of its time relative to you guys. Isn’t that wheel thing something out of your new gonna-open-it-real-soon-now Super Powers building to measure the perceptic of “roundness”? Followed by a trial by ordeal at the boiling oiliness table?
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John P. – thanks! I’m so dense, never knew what that wheel or the oiliness table were for. You and the RTC are rays of enlightment for my ignorance.
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What about the arch?
What was that about?
Who needs one of those?
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Yes, COB RTC David Miscavige has updated the old Catholic wheel by giving it a hydraulic clutch and a Clearsound Listening System. In fact, COB has updated the old Catholic Inquisition think and is now calling it “IAS Donation Enhancement Tech.” By actual research, we in RTC have found that even a small amount of religious torture will increase IAS donations by over 50% per week.
Scientologists who still have some money hidden suddenly remember where they hid it when their spine is stretched just a few inches using IAS Donation Enhancement Tech.
We in the Church of Scientology have basically scrapped the idea of Super Power and have reinvented the entire Super Power Building to become a series of very painful religious devices to be used in ways consistent with COB’s breakthrough IAS Donation Enhancement Tech.
Accordingly, the oil used in the Oiliness Table will be a toasty 140F, or what the Catholics use to call “boiling oil.” Thanks to COB RTC David Miscavige, the “Oiliness Table” is suddenly not so funny.
And yes, we in RTC have added an Iron Maiden to the Super Power Building and at all Ideal Orgs. The Iron Maiden will make the work of Scientology regges much, much, much easier:
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This reminds me–where is Shelly Miscavige?
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Do you mean ordinary Sea Org member Michelle Barnett? If so, she is on post.
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“on post” is that like a gurney?
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Regarding the last graphic on this post, the lovely Ms. Karin Pouw would say “The nice young Jewish gentleman is just getting a voluntary chiropractic pedicure. Please refrain from attacks of freedom of religion.”
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And if you don’t , you are just a bitter defrocked apostate or a bigoted anti-scientologist…
Or someone with an IQ over 12.
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Scientology is all about viewpoint of dimension and so “a voluntary chiropractic pedicure” has a nice ring to it. Thanks. We in RTC will use the phrase in the legally binding release all Scientologists will have to sign.
The Church of Scientology is not conducting torture; we are merely aggressively regging people for their own spiritual benefit.
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Oh no, OTVIII! You have goof’d the floof terribly here. What is the first rule of dealing with critics? Always attack, never defend! This certainly seems to be a defense of the practices that L Ron dictated for his “church”.
The ecclesiastical practices — however extreme — of the RTC, and its COB David Miscavige, are not subject to the judgement or evaluation of the wog world. “Legal” and “illegal” are concepts that shelter those too weak and degraded to do what is necessary — quietly and without remorse. Right and wrong are determined solely by the Source, and his place-holder COB.
The very existence of this post may be evidence of ev purps on the part of you in the RTC. The COB does not require your explanations for his effective methods of ethics correction. The results speak for themselves, in the form of the many talented, well-adjusted staff and execs at Int Base who have achieved heights of productivity never imagined in their wildest dreams. Why not just post pictures of them?
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Dear OT8 is GR8,,
I am writing to inquire about the “Wheel of Crunches” device which you have advertised. I am getting quite bored doing crunches to keep my abs toned and am wondering if this comes with a DVD?
Thank you.
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Dear Midwest Mom,
“Get Ripped with COB: Scieno-Aerobics!” is in production. The twenty minute fitness video features COB working out and includes two five minute cigarette and scotch breaks. The essence of Scieno-Aerobics is steroids because we in Scientology are not affected by drugs thanks to the Purif.
Skip the sweat! Throw back a double scotch and steroids with COB to get ripped. Priced at only $15,000, “Get Ripped with COB: Scieno-Aerobics!” includes a free set of the Basics.
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I can just imagine how amazing the aerobic section of this workout will be as we get to watch the uber-fit COB sprinting the 18,000 foot length of Project Mouse Table.
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Scotch ‘n’ steroids are on the training table of all our most famous athletes, judging from the news reports.
But I’m curious, does COB use the performance enhancer known as “the clear”? I recall reading about such a substance, and it sounds like something you in the RTC should know about. In fact, was it developed by the COB, in his pursuit of freakishness … er, fitness? Wouldn’t surprise me.
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ChocolateVelvet asks we in RTC if COB RTC David Miscavige is using the steroid known as the Clear, a powerful testosterone inhibitor.
The answer is to be found in the dramatic nude statue of COB RTC David Miscavige located at St. Hill Manor:
Sans genitalia, it would seem that COB is definitely Clear.
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@John P.: COB RTC does not sprint the length of his epic 18,000 foot Mouse Table. Rather, he prefers to use his RTC mobility scooter:
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OT8, isn’t it easier to just throw people overboard?
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No, it is easier to lock them up in RPF.
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The Iron Maiden needs a sound track:
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COB,
Upon your instruction, I visited the Museum of Torture and picked up some really sharp pointers for you. This museum is open to the paying public but I’m sure we can arrange a private visit for you and your super best friend when he is in the San Diego area next.
They also have reservations for corporate groups and I’m sure we can arrange to have museum security henceforth ‘distracted’ while you play musical chairs with the spiked throne.
As requested, here is the website link and I’ll be sure to not interrupt you for the next 3 minutes while you carefully inspect the photos. The Kleenex you requested is in your top right hand drawer:
http://www.museumofman.org/torture
I eagerly await your reply and will schedule your visit promptly.
ML,
Deckard Cain
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COB greatly enjoyed the link and wants to know if he can purchase all of the items in the exhibit.
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COB,
May I suggest that we look to influence the San Diego City Council to ‘loan’ you the entire exhibit to be placed within the Psychiatry: An Industry of Death? There is currently an empty council seat and a few newly elected members that would love to hear from you.
This way you could save money and have these ecclesiastic ‘tools’ at your disposal 24/7 and perhaps gain some influence in a town closer to your secret escape route.
ML,
Deckard Cain
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You’re all joking right?
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No we are not joking. As the Founder wrote in KSW:
“We’re not playing some minor game in Scientology. It isn’t cute or something to do for lack of something better.
“The whole agonized future of this planet, every man, woman and child on it, and your own destiny for the next endless trillions of years depend on what you do here and now with and in Scientology.
“This is a deadly serious activity. And if we miss getting out of the trap now, we may never again have another chance.”
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