Scientologists Now Breathing E-Meter Filtered Air to Stay Safe from Airborne BT’s

“New research by the Scientology Bureau of Science has shown that airborne BT’s have increased 4,000% due to increased volcanic activity in the world,” announced Flag folder page Bixby Schoenborn.

“For this reason, COB has modified 120,000 Ultra Mark VIII e-meters to become air purification devices. These new meters trap BT’s in a special new and patented theta-mesh filtration system.

“BT’s, which are 5 microns in size, cannot get past the 2 micron filter in COB’s new meter.

“COB has ordered all Scientologists to purchase and use two of the new BT-Free Air Filtration E-Meters. Price per unit is a mere $12,500 each.

“Scientologists on SOLO NOT’s are in particular need of this new BT-Free Air Filtration E-Meter as they do not want to add yet more BT’s to their existing BT case — and yet this is exactly what will happen by breathing in unfiltered BT-laden air!

When asked why a lowly Flag folder page was making such a monumental and epic announcement, an unnamed RTC terminal stated that Church spokesperson Karin Pouw has been away on a special assignment for 15 years along with Shelly Miscavige.

3 replies »

  1. OK, I seem to have done it again. I got myself landed in Ethics. I looked and looked for the definition of ‘BT’ in the Tech Dictionary and the Admin Dictionary and couldn’t find anything. I finally screwed up my courage, got my TRs IN and asked the Course Sup about ‘BTs’. She didn’t say a thing, just routed my ass directly to the Ethics Officer. Now I’m doing yet another set of Lowers just for trying to communicate freely on any subject. Some of us are slow learners.

    I considered trying the SO #1 line to get an answer, but that has been defunct for decades. So, I am appealing to you in RTC: what the fuck is a ‘BT’ and what has it got to do with me and getting my tit in a wringer once again?

    much love,

    Liked by 2 people

    • Next, COB will require all scientologists to buy filters to put trap the BTs that are released when a scientologist farts. COB is such a genius!


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