“New research by the Scientology Bureau of Science has shown that airborne BT’s have increased 4,000% due to increased volcanic activity in the world,” announced Flag folder page Bixby Schoenborn.
“For this reason, COB has modified 120,000 Ultra Mark VIII e-meters to become air purification devices. These new meters trap BT’s in a special new and patented theta-mesh filtration system.
“BT’s, which are 5 microns in size, cannot get past the 2 micron filter in COB’s new meter.
“COB has ordered all Scientologists to purchase and use two of the new BT-Free Air Filtration E-Meters. Price per unit is a mere $12,500 each.
“Scientologists on SOLO NOT’s are in particular need of this new BT-Free Air Filtration E-Meter as they do not want to add yet more BT’s to their existing BT case — and yet this is exactly what will happen by breathing in unfiltered BT-laden air!
When asked why a lowly Flag folder page was making such a monumental and epic announcement, an unnamed RTC terminal stated that Church spokesperson Karin Pouw has been away on a special assignment for 15 years along with Shelly Miscavige.