“COB RTC Mr. David Miscavige’s order to board up Ideal Orgs across the US has resulted in a 100% end to the chronic and endless auditing errors and mistakes at the Ideal Org level,” announced Church spokesman Ken Delusion. “There have been no red tags, missed F/N’s, or any other auditing errors or Out Tech at the shuttered Ideal Orgs.”

“COB has discovered that when an Ideal Org is boarded up and not delivering services it cannot make any mistakes. This is COB’s monumental technical discovery!”

“As a consequence, COB has decided to keep the Ideal Orgs permanently boarded up. This is being done to prevent their decades of technical fuck ups,” Delusion announced.  “All auditing and other technical delivery will be shifted to Flag Land Base, the Mecca of Technical Perfection.”

“Frankly,” Delusion noted, “These outer Orgs, these so-called ‘Ideal Orgs’ were not so ideal after all. As mightily as the experts at Flag worked at it, the cold-blooded reality is that outer Org trainees are incapable of being trained to Flag standards. This is why the Ideal Org program never worked: The outer Org trainees were going back to their Orgs and sabotaging technical delivery with their gross Out Tech.”

“COB easily spotted these counter-intentioned SP’s once the Ideal Orgs were boarded up and the technical problems ceased. This is why the use of weekly stats is so powerful in spotting and handling problems. Moreover,” as COB observed, “periodically replacing the rotting plywood on the shuttered Orgs in infinitely cheaper than fixing red tags and ARC-broken preclears,” Delusion concluded. “Thank you COB!”