Scientologists Ordered to Evacuate Los Angeles!


“The news of the lawsuit against David Miscavige and now HowdyCon has caused the ambient entheta levels to skyrocket in Los Angeles! Peak entheta readings of ten trillion kiloton light year farsecs per second are concentrated in East Hollywood,” declared Scientology Disaster Czar Ken Delusion. “Civil Engineer Dr. Hubbard, our Founder, thankfully left behind Tech on how to handle this.”

“Pac Base is particularly at risk for the contagion of aberration. Fleet Admiral Miscavige has ordered all local Scientologists to evacuate Los Angeles and flee to the Scientology Base in Trementina, New Mexico.

“Please stay tuned to your secret OT radios for the latest news. The current danger is expected to pass in four or five years.”

“On another note, the pig is still missing. The $500 reward is still being offered.”

4 replies »

  1. The Fleet Admiral has plainly been possessed by the shade of Herbert W. Armstrong of ‘Plain Truth’ infamy. Note the resemblances: fleeing California for a place of safety (Petra or Trementina) to escape either the Abomination of Desolation or a Contagion of Aberration. All Miscavige needs to complete his transformation into a right Herbert is to commit incest, live into his nineties and marry a woman 50 years his junior. The stupidity, cruelty and insatiable greed are already accounted for.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Dr. Strabismus of Utrecht (on whom be peace) outlines a marvelous life plan for David Miscavige. One important difference s that Herbert W. Armstrong was into British Israelism whereas Mr. Miscavige is into scotch, money, and various felonies. Aside from these, they are soul brothers.

      Liked by 1 person

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