“Scientology leader David Miscavige stole a pig from a local farm today and is believed headed south towards Mexico.” said Sheriff Ned Forotees of Hemet. “Mr. MIscavige was carrying a backpack stuffed with cash and was armed with a water-soaker type of toy gun. He appears to be mentally deranged,” the Sheriff added.
“A $500 reward is being offered for the safe return of the pig.”