Scientology Leader David Miscavige Steals Pig; Flees Hemet

Shoop by Observer

“Scientology leader David Miscavige stole a pig from a local farm today and is believed headed south towards Mexico.” said Sheriff Ned Forotees of Hemet. “Mr. MIscavige was carrying a backpack stuffed with cash and was armed with a water-soaker type of toy gun. He appears to be mentally deranged,” the Sheriff added.

“A $500 reward is being offered for the safe return of the pig.”

7 replies »

  1. You don’t know that the pig COB stole was a flying pig!! He will use it to escape to a place where he can bribe the local government to prevent his extradition back to the US, where he would face criminal charges that are much more serious than pig theft!


  2. You’re right. Administrative travel does not limit the means of transportation. Although he may have a problem liquidating his expenses if the pig will not provide a fare receipt.


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