Scientology & North Korea: A Bright Future Ahead

Following their historic meetings for bilateral talks on slave labor, sleep deprivation, torture, beatings, malnutrition, extortion, blackmail, money laundering and other methods that are vital to totalitarian regimes, David Miscavige and Kim Jong Un agreed to an exchange that helps both parties. The North Korean leader agreed to supply 5,000 workers for Scientology’s Sea Org in exchange for basic foodstuffs including fifty million “Blinky Yingling” muffins and ten million metric tons of rice and beans.

“Kim Jung Un will be staying in Los Angeles for a few weeks to do his Purification Rundown at the Celebrity Centre. Following his Purif, the North Korean leader will begin basic Scientology courses,” said Church spokesman Ken Delusion.

2 replies »

  1. As a in-KSW Scientologist, I hate to admit it but we have a lot to learn from the North Koreans and their Dear Leader. And they have a lot to learn from us. While we possess the only Tech to save Mankind and rehabilitate OT powers, I think the North Koreans have better Fair Game Tech. Those boys don’t mess around when it comes to implementing Fair Game. Somebody fucks with them or tries to escape and bullets fly. We on the other hand have much better interrogation Tech in the form of Sec Checks. Some may question the validity of this statement because on the surface, the North Koreans don’t hesitate to use all sorts of creative torture techniques in their confessionals. However, these crude techniques only apply to meat bodies. We in the Church of Scientology don’t address meat bodies, we address the Thetan. As such, a grueling, ball busting, gut wrenching, soul sucking, bowel liquefying, integrity robbing, mind numbing, gang bang Sec Check goes right to the heart of the matter; thoroughly crushing a spiritual being and eliminating their spot on the front porch of eternity.

    Liked by 2 people

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