Tom Cruise’s Escape from Scientology Thwarted by OSA Special Forces!

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Tom Cruise yesterday tried to escape from Scientology’s ultra-secret compound in Trementina, New Mexico. The 55 year old actor bolted from his cell, ran across the tarmac, and grabbed onto the side fuselage door of a departing Scientology Airbus A400M.

A pair of RTC x-wing fighters belonging to OSA Special Forces Air Wing #9 were scrambled. The lead x-wing zapped Tom Cruise with a tractor beam and hauled him back to Trementina Base. Cruise is now undergoing extensive security checking in an ecclesiastical reform center. The actor is obviously harboring evil purposes to destroy Scientology and COB RTC Mr. David Miscavige. We in RTC will find Tom Cruise’s crimes. Let this serve as a lesson to anyone Scientologist who is thinking of escaping: Scientology will capture and punish you!

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6 responses to “Tom Cruise’s Escape from Scientology Thwarted by OSA Special Forces!

  1. Mr Cruise will hold the cans and smoke Menthol Cools till he confesses his crimes. At $1000 a pack from The Super Powers cafeteria The Cools Rundown will remove those theatans from your lungs and make you less old baseball glove looking!

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Poor Tom: involuntarily airborne-qualified, tractorized, and then Hubbardized! Ida fled too… “Stand in the door, Green light GO! Exteriorize, exteriorize, exteriorize!” (‘chutes are for wogs…)

    Liked by 1 person

  3. One must look at the source of Tom and Dave’s quarrels. Tom cannot call Liza Minnelli a washed up old hag and Dave cannot call Cher a plastic surgery experiment gone bad. These two guys must respect each other’s likes and dislikes as well. Dave should also offer to dry clean Tom’s collection of Bob Mackie designed Cher outfits. Some of those stains may never come out.

    Liked by 2 people

  4. No on can escape the GREED of Scientology!! Little Tommy Cruise had to find out the hard way!!

    Liked by 1 person

  5. Forget TC.. I like the OSA Special Forces Airwing # 9. I hate to break it to them but I have it from a little bird that OT8 has the original flying wing from Metropolis & there is a seat available. That monster eats OSAer airwings for breakfast! 😘🌠

    Liked by 1 person

  6. Well, if the poor old devil WILL keep on forgetting to take his corsets off before doing a runner…

    Liked by 1 person

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