Tom Cruise yesterday tried to escape from Scientology’s ultra-secret compound in Trementina, New Mexico. The 55 year old actor bolted from his cell, ran across the tarmac, and grabbed onto the side fuselage door of a departing Scientology Airbus A400M.
A pair of RTC x-wing fighters belonging to OSA Special Forces Air Wing #9 were scrambled. The lead x-wing zapped Tom Cruise with a tractor beam and hauled him back to Trementina Base. Cruise is now undergoing extensive security checking in an ecclesiastical reform center. The actor is obviously harboring evil purposes to destroy Scientology and COB RTC Mr. David Miscavige. We in RTC will find Tom Cruise’s crimes. Let this serve as a lesson to anyone Scientologist who is thinking of escaping: Scientology will capture and punish you!