RTC Confidential Memo to COB: Super Bowl Ad Analysis

Delirious

Dear Sir,

Your Super Bowl ad was super-fantastic. Our tracking data shows that over five billion people responded positively to the ad. These billions of people now have a favorable impression of Scientology.

Telexes congratulating you for your genius and brilliance are pouring in from world leaders all over the globe. These world leaders are all asking how they can license your Super Bowl ad tech. Somalia, Chad, and Libya are particularly interested in using your PR ad tech to help improve their imagine.

And of course it goes without saying that Scientology will need thousands more Ideal Orgs to keep up with the expected massive inflow of raw meat into the existing Orgs. LRH in Green Vol 2 informs us that we can expect to see the results of a massive PR effort in six weeks. Thus, we should be booming in mid-March. Staff is recommending that 100,000,000 new sets of Basics be printed immediately by Bridge Publications to handle the expected massive inflow of raw meat.

The tide is turning sir. You have confronted and shattered all of the remaining SP’s on the planet and now it is all green lights from here to eternity.

ML,

Ken Delusion
Commanding Officer
Department of Highest Evers Department
Religious Technology Center
Mail Boxes R US, Box 51
San Jacinto, CA

6 responses to “RTC Confidential Memo to COB: Super Bowl Ad Analysis

  1. Dear Ken Delusion, Too bad your Super Bowl promo will deliriously play a loop endlessly on closed circuit TV to an echoing building known as SMP. What you are unaware of because you have caused this to occur is that the transmitters at SMP are incapable of transmitting anything outward only inward to the faithful. Incidentally an SP invaded the Telex lines & all the congratulatory Telexes ended up in a bonfire. And the Tide has turned and took all the Green Volumes out far away never to return. You never know who might be hiding in the RTC nest of vipers..šŸ˜Ž

    Liked by 2 people

  2. Yes Sir, I too thought that the Delirious Super Bowl ad was super fantastic. I hate to be a fly in the ointment, but I have to say that there is one thing I was a little confused and disappointed about. I thought for sure that there would be instructions at the end of the ad telling the masses of unwashed WOG football fans how to tune into Scientology Media Productions now that they are surely going to start start broadcasting 24/7 any day now. Perhaps you in RTC could at least tell us hard working Volunteer Ministers how to tune in so that we can pass that info on to the hoards of meat bodies we are handing out The Way to Happiness booklets to. I can hardly wait for my Ideal Org to start handling the massive, highest ever, unprecedented, unknowable orders of magnatude inflow so that I can get a twin to finish my GAT II Pro TRs Course with. The only other student in the Academy besides me blew last week after encountering some shit called The Aftermath. I don’t know what her problem is, I have always loved math and I did New Math back in the 60s so The Aftermath should be a cake walk. Especially once you clear your words like I always do.

    Liked by 2 people

    • Scientology Media Productions? Oh you mean that downstat Org in Hollywood that hasn’t fundraised enough money to broadcast anything at all?

      COB paid for SMP. That was a mistake as it rewarded a downstat Org. Now SMP actually thinks it has to be given more money to do anything. This violates Be, Do, Have.

      SMP has to be broadcasting.
      SMP has to do broadcasting.
      Only then can SMP have ad revenue.

      Liked by 1 person

    • You “did New Math back in the 60’s”! Oh, how I nearly died laughing. Some people have those newfangled digital copies of Tom Lehrer, you know…

      Like

  3. Curious? Join Scientology and follow the Bridge to:

    Bankruptcy
    Divorce
    Child labor
    Forced abortions for women
    Sea Org Slavery
    Special, personal beatings by COB

    Like

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