How to Determine if a Scientologist is in Good Standing with the Church of Scientology

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All Scientologists are like Schrödinger’s cat in the box: They are simultaneously in good standing and not in good standing with the Church. If a radioactive legal particle adverse to the Church appears, the flask inside the box is broken and suppressive acts on the part of the Scientologist named in the legal papers are detected. The box is opened by the IJC and the wave function collapses down into the state in which the Scientologist is not in good standing in with the Church.

In Scientology the designation “In Good Standing With the Church” remains governed at all times by the Scientology Uncertainty Principle. This principle states that a Scientologist is only as valuable as he or she can continuously donate money to Scientology and never become a legal or PR problem. However, the Scientologist can never know if they have donated enough money or have become a legal or PR problem.

All Scientology certs and awards are also governed by the Scientology Uncertainty Principle and thus, the wave function of certs and awards can suddenly collapse down into an outcome in which all certs and awards are cancelled.

It is only possible to know a Scientologist’s level on the Bridge or their standing with the Church. One cannot know both. One can know, for example, if a Scientologist is a Clear or an OT but that does not tell you if they are in good standing with the Church or a declared SP. Not even the Scientologist knows. Only the IJC knows and, even then, the IJC only knows what COB tells him he may or may not know. Again, this is the Scientology Uncertainty Principle at work.

“In Good Standing” therefore remains, at all times, a purely quantum mechanical probability governed by the laws of legal and PR interactions within the seemingly oddball system of Scientology metaphysics. As Ken Delusion himself has said, “If you claim to understand Scientology then you don’t.”

4 responses to “How to Determine if a Scientologist is in Good Standing with the Church of Scientology

  1. The only scientologist in good standing is The Slappy Shrimp.
    Everyone else is disposable.

    Like

  2. As Lord Palmerston would have said had he had not been thinking about the Schleswig-Holstein question at the time, “The Scientologist’s ‘Good Standing’ question is so complicated, only three men in Europe have ever understood it. One was Prince Albert, who is dead. The second was a German professor who became mad. I am the third and I have forgotten all about it.”

    Andrew

    Liked by 1 person

    • WHF??? Now I’ve got more MUs than this planet has wogs!!!!

      I mean, it says above, “One can know, for example, if a Scientologist is a Clear or an OT…” How in the fuck do we know that? I thought the Reg at my Ideal Org was OT but it turns out the guy is still on ARC Straightwire after 12 years on staff and moonlights as a janitor to make things go right. Also this really disgusting perv at my Org who apparently has trouble wiping his ass turns out to be OT VIII and 3Ls completion. I mean WTF??????

      Liked by 1 person

  3. Well, that explains a great deal!

    Like

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