May 28: Scientology Media Productions Grand Opening!

SMP.2

The inaugural broadcast from Scientology Media Productions in Los Feliz, California will feature COB RTC Mr. David Miscavige and Minister Louis Farrakhan of the Nation of Islamoscientology.

These two most dedicated Scientologists in the entire world will discuss the need for harsher ecclesiastical discipline and increased sacrificial financial donations from Scientologists in these Psych-infested end times in which we live. To this point, Mr. Farrakhan will address the role of the Jewish Global Pharmaceutical Conspiracy in suppressing Scientology.

The eight hour broadcast will include a fundraising drive. Funds are vitally needed to renovate the Great Hall of Auditing in Los Angeles. This palatial edifice was heavily damaged in the bloody and merciless 2015 turf war between the Jehovah’s Witnesses and Scientologists for control over proselytizing on the hotly contested streets of Hollywood.

scn-2

RTC Elite Security Force #7 guards the Great Hall of Auditing against marauding hit and run attacks by the defeated Jehovah’s Witnesses

“We in Scientology won because we had to win,” said Mr. Miscavige. “We weren’t about to allow ourselves to be pushed around by a bunch of pantywaisted bible-thumping JW’s! There was no other choice but to fight and win. At stake was the whole agonized future of this planet, every Man, Woman and Child on it. And this is why your own destiny for the next endless trillions of years depends on what you donate here and now to renovate the Great Hall of Auditing!”

5 responses to “May 28: Scientology Media Productions Grand Opening!

  1. Was a battle for the ages between the “super power undies” V the “super power oily table”! May the best made up story win!

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Sorry Mormons wear the super power undies, change out to super door knocking abilities!

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Even though Scientology and the Jehovah Witnesses are at war, it hasn’t stopped the Scientology Dissemination and Distribution Center from printing the Watch Tower. Once again, if COB can make money off both sides, why not?

    Liked by 1 person

    • COB would never dare take on the JW mode of publication, there literally is no money in it. The Bible’s, mags, books that JWs hand out or on their JW.org site are free (was surprised they even put this in print). If you want to give them money … your choice.

      COB would have fits 1) not charging and 2) not requiring donations. He even overcharges you on the Way to Happiness pablum.

      Frankly with COB’s money obsession, surprised he hasn’t used Bridge Publications to print counterfeit bills (if only to create his own Scrooge McDuck inspired money bin).

      Like

  4. whostolemycog

    “Hey Folks, it’s Demonic Dave along with my partner in crime, Calypso Louie rockin you live from the brand new studios of Scientology in California and Mexico, or KSCAM for short. Stay tuned to KSCAM as we’ve got a great cast of big being celebrities stopping by the studio today, but let’s first hear a word from our one and only sponsor, the people saving the planet one wallet at a time – of course, they are the IAS. Calypso Louie what do you know about this offer of theirs? I hear they’re offering 3x case gain for donations made before midnight, is that true? It can’t be true! Nobody gives away case gain for free!! Am I right?”

    “Hohoho…Demonic Dave, you’ve never been wrong. Calypso Louie here…of course no one gives away case gain for free. How would we get rich if we simply gave the case gain away? (background laughter is heard) For donations of at least $100k, the IAS will reward parishioners with 3x case gain. Donations of at least $1 million will get 5x case gain and a picture of us here behind the michrophones in studio. The biggest beings will get a theta flow handshake from you Demonic Dave and 10x case gain for all donations of at least $5 million. (at this point Calypso Louie launches into song doing his best calypso immitatation)

    So as you can plainly see,
    there is nothing for free
    in Scientology.

    Back right after this…stay tuned.

    Liked by 1 person

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s