COB RTC David Miscavige Launches the Official Scientology Internet

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COB’s enthusiastic staff cheers him on as he launches the official Scientology Internet by posting the video of his heroic 1993 speech “The War is Over.”

COB RTC Mr. David Miscavige today launched the official Scientology internet by posting the video of his heroic 1993 speech “The War is Over.” In this triumphal speech, COB announced his singular victory over the diabolical and wholly suppressive Marcabian psych-implanters known as the IRS.

“Consisting of 239,716,220 pages of Scientology text and photos, ScienoNet is a fully-featured internet superior in every way to the wog internet,” declared Scientology spokesman Ken Delusion. “And with a monthly fee of only $795.00, ScienoNet offers every Scientologist 100% certainty they are reading a 100% safe and entheta-free internet.”

“With the launch of ScienoNet there is now, per COB’s ecclesiastical diktat, no reason for any Scientologist anywhere to use the filthy and degraded wog internet!,” said Delusion. “The lack of an official Scientology internet will no longer be accepted as an excuse in sec checks for surfing the wog internet!”

Delusion concluded by remarking, “The wog internet really is as vile and cockroach-infested as the Sea Org berthing at Flag — so stay away from it!”

Hosted by a powerful server in INCOMM, ScienoNet already has over 12,000,000 subscribers. Sign up today at your nearest Ideal Org!

server

The hyper-secure ScienoNet server tracks users online activity to keep them safe from entheta.

 

4 responses to “COB RTC David Miscavige Launches the Official Scientology Internet

  1. My only question is whether the $795.00 monthly fee is tax deductible under the religious doctrine of exchange?

    Like

  2. Has COB just electrocuted himself, or has he been overdoing the Bumpits and Ultra-Clutch again?

    Like

  3. COB just hasn’t been the same since TC stopped coming by for sleepovers. We’d imagine the new Scienonet will include pictures of TC without a shirt on to help compensate.

    Liked by 1 person

  4. Watch the COB channel on $cientology internet!! 24 x 7 videos of COB as he SCOHB!!

    Like

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