Man of the People: Pope David Miscavige Eats at IHOP

DM.IHOP

Flush from his historic and triumphal Papal visit to Oildale, Scientology Pontiff David Miscavige today ate breakfast with the common people at an IHOP in Fresno, California.

“Pope Miscavige is working hard to show that he is a man of the people,” said Church of Scientology spokesman Monsignor Ken Delusion. “Pope Francis riding around in his little Fiat isn’t the only ‘ordinary guy’ out there among the global religious leaders of the world.”

“Frankly,” declared  Monsignor Delusion, “we in the Church of Scientology are darned sick and tired of the wog media gushing all over Pope Francis while they ignore Pope Miscavige — a man whose monumental OT accomplishments put Pope Francis to shame.”

“Pope Francis has yet to launch the Golden Age of Catholicism II or announce the world’s largest all-digital on-demand publishing house — let alone open 22,357 Ideal Orgs or create the world’s largest religious film studio!”

Pope Miscavige’s “Man of the People Tour” continues with its next stop in Redding, California where the Pontiff will speak on “The Ten Most Deadly Engrams and Implants” at the Unitarian Church.

6 responses to “Man of the People: Pope David Miscavige Eats at IHOP

  1. The humility of Pope David I knows no bounds. It is surely a privilege to be so fortunate as to live in an age where his wisdom and compassion can sweep aside the R6 relics of past myths implanted by the malign aliens from a distant galaxy far, far away. I would be happy to contribute to a modest Pope-mobile, perhaps a diesel powered Volkswagen befitting an environmentally conscious world religious leader of his statue.

    Andrew

    Liked by 1 person

  2. If Pope Miscavige wishes to visit poor people (downstat degraded beings) all he has to do is go to any Scientology org!

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Waitress: “What can I get you your Holiness?
    Pope David I: “I’ll have the moons over myhammy”
    Waitress: “Uh I’m sorry, we don’t offer that, that is from Denny’s”
    Pope David I: “You SCOHB! I don’t want excuses, I want my mother fu@king MOONS OVER MYHAMMY!! Let me show you a reference called “Responsibilities of Leaders” you flap ass flap!

    Like

  4. I heard rumor he went in there mistaking the IHOP to mean International House of Popes. Good save by the PR team!

    Liked by 1 person

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