“Peace and Prosperity are Just Around the Corner For We in the Church of Scientology”

“Peace and prosperity are just around the corner for we in the Church of Scientology,” said Chairman David Miscavige.

“The forces of global psychiatric suppression are collapsing under the withering onslaught of Scientology’s 4th dynamic planetary salvage campaigns,” Chairman Miscavige assured the 15,000,000 Scientology party delegates gathered in the Great Hall of Exact Data in Clearwater, Florida.

“All that remains is for each of you to make a fully monumental, epic, and heroic donation to the IAS. Your donations are urgently needed now to mop up the last vestiges of planetary suppression.”

11 responses to ““Peace and Prosperity are Just Around the Corner For We in the Church of Scientology”

  1. The President of the American Psychiatric Association Renée Binder, M.D. expressed surprise at Captain Miscavige’s claim that psychiatry was collapsing under Scientology’s withering onslaught.

    “I’m not familiar with Scientology” Dr. Binder said, “Is it the same as Christian Science? But modern therapeutic methods are showing promising results in the treatment of delusional megalomania, so perhaps this Corporal Miscavige would benefit from some psychiatric help.”

    Andrew

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  2. What happened to Ken Delusion….or do I not have the rank to ask that question?

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  3. Reblogged this on Cult Appeals and commented:
    Love this photo…

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  4. This is wonderful news!!!!!! Finally, the suppressive forces on this planet are collapsing. I just KNEW we would win. As a result, I am really looking forward to seeing Shelly come up for air after having been working so hard in an “undisclosed location” orchestrating this battle. She will probably give all the credit to her husband, Fleet Admiral David Miscavige, but we all know that she has been the driving force, working diligently for the church for nearly a decade, shunning public appearances and selflessly putting her nose to the grindstone of planetary clearing.

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  5. That picture of COB, I don’t know why but I can’t stop reaching for my wallet to hand him my credit card…

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  6. I still say you’re trying to hypnotize us…

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    • I still say you’re trying to hypnotize us…

      Fair enough Herr Docktor.

      For the sake of argument let’s say we in Scientology are trying to hypnotize you.

      What could you do about it?

      How could you ever prove it?

      And once we gained control of your mind by means of our secret hypnotic methods you would be powerless. We would make you confess everything.

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      • Not while Nurse Proutley and my good self are wearing our patented ‘Strabismatex’ Faraday-cage (copper mesh) underwear you won’t. And it’s “Meneer Doctor” to you, not “Herr Doktor”; Utrecht is in the Netherlands.

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  7. Love your new doo, Chairman David Miscavige!

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  8. “Victory in Sow-eath Asia is just around the corner.” — LBJ, 1967.

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