We in RTC have recently been made aware by our wog attorneys of a new squirrel group called Neurotology.
COB RTC David Miscavige was shown selected screenshots of a video proving that Neurotology has squirreled the internationally famous and globally acclaimed COB-produced Scientology anthem We Stand Tall.
The vicious Neurotology squirrels have even created a Diametrics Foundation.
These squirrels use a squirrel e-meter called the “brain machine” and make the wholly outrageous claim “our brain machine can read your mind.”
Obviously created by a fabulist charlatan and populated by Psych-rejects and self-help trash, Neurotology charges $20,000 for its s0-called “brain machine” — a pretend mental health appliance that is actually a crude lobotomy device worn on the head:
The Neurotology squirrels have a space opera focused on a fictional being named Meepthorp. This is most definitely a Marcab implant insidiously laid in on the wholetrack some 790,919,082,158,051 years ago during Incident 16 — a cosmically deadly event that resulted in the Ninth Wall of Fire. Whereupon, the magnitude of this singular implant can only be handled using the exact and precise technology of Scientology.
However, COB has banned these squirrels for all eternity. None of them will ever receive any auditing!
The Neurotology Kingpin has ripped off COB’s fashion sense, hair, and grooming. This pretender to true spiritual enlightenment — and such enlightenment can be found only in Scientology — is actually quite a deranged and insane squirrel. The pompadoured Jim-dandy and his gauche designer shirt have “squirrel” written all over them:
An elusive figure who stays in hiding and only comes out to engage in highly scripted, phony, and closed-door PR events, the Neurotology Kingpin is regarded as a psychopathic and narcissistic criminal cult leader who needs to be arrested and locked up in prison forever. We in RTC are offering a $10,000 reward for information leading to the arrest of the Neurotology Kingpin.
COB RTC David Miscavige has sworn great wrath and vengeance upon the Neurotologoists. Mr. Miscavige has promised that these dangerous, money-grubbing, and phony status-seeking Neurotology squirrels will be brutally punished, beaten, stalked, sued, threatened, infiltrated, and spied on for years or even decades if needed.