Church of Scientology Leader & Tom Cruise to Lead Super Bowl Halftime Festivities!

fleet-admiral-david-miscavige-aa

“Church of Scientology global ecclesiastical leader Fleet Admiral David Miscavige and celebrity Tom Cruise will lead the Super Bowl halftime festivities,” enthused Church spokesman Ken Delusion.

“These are the two most dedicated Scientologists in the world and so the audience is in for a real treat! Plans call for Fleet Admiral Miscavige and Tom Cruise to drive onto the field at half-time in Scientology’s ideal new E-Metermobile!”

The new Scientology E-Metermobile.

The new Scientology E-Metermobile will be unveiled at Super Bowl half time

“Miniature E-Metermobiles go on sale at Church of Scientol0ogy retail stores at half time. Millions of Scientologists have already formed lines several miles long at malls across America! Priced at only $15,995 the new E-Metermobile miniature is sure to be the hot new Scientology collectible this year!”

Millions of people clamor for Scientology each and every day!

Millions of Scientologists can’t be wrong!

4 responses to “Church of Scientology Leader & Tom Cruise to Lead Super Bowl Halftime Festivities!

  1. Do I need to buy E-Metermobiles in case the battery goes out in the first one?

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  2. Heard from a reliable source that COB and Tom will be entering during Katy Perry’s performance of “Dark Horse”, a tune evidently written for and dedicated to COB and his cult….

    I knew you were
    You were gonna come to me
    And here you are
    But you better choose carefully
    Cause I-I-I
    I’m capable of anything
    Of anything
    And everything

    Make me your Aphrodite
    Make me your one and only
    But don’t make me your enemy
    Your enemy
    Your enemy

    So you wanna play with magic?
    You should know what you’re falling for
    Do you dare to do this?
    Cause I’m coming at you like a dark horse

    Are you ready for?
    Ready for?
    A perfect storm?
    Perfect storm?
    Cause once you’re mine
    Once you’re mine
    There’s no going back

    Mark my words
    This love will make you levitate
    Like a bird
    Like a bird without a cage
    We’re down to earth
    If you choose to walk away
    Don’t walk away

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  3. Faithful Scientologists will want to purchase the full set of E-Metermobiles in all 3 colors – goldenrod yellow, bankruptcy blue and Marcabian silver! Salespeople are standing by at your nearest Scientology Ideal E-Metermobile dealerships!!!

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  4. The E-Metermobile is a major *scientific* advancement; dispensing with horses, it features 1000 Thetan-power.

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