“Church of Scientology global ecclesiastical leader Fleet Admiral David Miscavige and celebrity Tom Cruise will lead the Super Bowl halftime festivities,” enthused Church spokesman Ken Delusion.
“These are the two most dedicated Scientologists in the world and so the audience is in for a real treat! Plans call for Fleet Admiral Miscavige and Tom Cruise to drive onto the field at half-time in Scientology’s ideal new E-Metermobile!”
“Miniature E-Metermobiles go on sale at Church of Scientol0ogy retail stores at half time. Millions of Scientologists have already formed lines several miles long at malls across America! Priced at only $15,995 the new E-Metermobile miniature is sure to be the hot new Scientology collectible this year!”