Long Island at the Epicenter of Scientology Planetary Expansion!


Led by Patron Triple Scoop, Diamond Laureate Excelsius IAS, and New OTVIII William “Big Billy” Parks, the Long Island OT Committee is at the epicenter of Scientology Planetary Expansion.

“As you can see from our award-winning video,” Parks said, ” Long Island OT’s are winning in life. And that’s why we have vowed to salvage Long Island. But to to do this requires an Ideal Org. After all, Long Island can only be salvaged if there is an Ideal Org. Besides, we owe it to COB and the group to get the hell out of this rented craphole we’re in now.”


“Grab some free pizza, get your phone, and start calling people. We need to raise a few million dollars for our Ideal Org. Now get to work! We have an island to salvage!”


37 responses to “Long Island at the Epicenter of Scientology Planetary Expansion!

  1. Not many people would guess, but that teddy bear is a OTVII.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Denmark is the smallest of the Nordic countries, yet it has 1,419 islands that need salvaging. NOW!!! I admit, not all of them are inhabited, but still, the need is urgent!!!

    My question is: When is Scientology going to come to our rescue and salvage these islands in the far North? We are desperate here!!!

    Liked by 1 person

    • Congratulations Birgit, COB has just appointed you Executive Director of Nordic Ideal Org Island Expansion. Your first assignment is to put Ideal Orgs on 1/3 of those 1,419 Nordic Islands.

      In other news, COB RTC David Miscavige is pleased to announce that Scientology has added 473 new Ideal Orgs in the Nordic countries, this due to the highest ever demand for Scientology in that cold and snowy region of the world. Studies have shown that these attractive Viking peoples reach for Scientology, on average, every 2.3 seconds.

      Liked by 1 person

      • According to Wikipedia, Sweden has around 150,000 islands, Norway has around 50,000 and Finland around 98,050. Again I admit, not all of them are inhabited, but still they are in urgent need of being salvaged by Scientology.

        If my assignment is to to put Ideal Orgs on just a third of all these islands……..I just can´t do it alone. I´m going to need some help……..and some serious funding!!!

        Liked by 1 person

      • You have your work cut out for you Birgit, better get moving on these targets:

        150,000 + 98,050 + 50,000 + 1,1419 = 299,469 islands whose libraries all need complete deluxe sets of leatherbound Basics.

        1/3 of the islands need Ideal Orgs = 100,000 Ideal Orgs

        Each Ideal Org needs 20 Class V Orgs = 500,000 Class V Orgs

        Each Class V Org needs 100 missions = Eleventy billion missions

        Birgit, we need your stats today at 2:00 PM local time.

        Liked by 1 person

    • They heard “Faroes” and thought that someone said “fairies”, so they declared the islands 1.1. They won’t get any salvaging until they raise their tone level, or win a Euro 2016 qualifying match.

      Liked by 1 person

  3. There is not enough theta in that pizza.

    Liked by 1 person

  4. It’s unfair that Denmark should get special treatment. New Zealand has 220 offshore islands that need Ideal Orgs too. Just because Scientology was turned down by the NZ Rugby Union in their bid to become the official religion of the All Blacks doesn’t mean the country should become a pariah!


    Liked by 1 person





    Liked by 1 person

  6. Jimbo, you crack me up!!!!!!!

    Liked by 1 person

  7. It feels amazing to be in the epicenter of scientology planetary expansion!

    Liked by 1 person

  8. This new effort to build Ideal Orgs on small islands in the frozen north campaign led to an amazing cognition on expansion. First, taking a look at Google’s list of the 85 most populated cities on earth confirms at a glance well over half have no Scilon presence.

    But we need to think bigger than that.

    Cognition: Teegeeack itself is nothing more than an island, a watery rock floating through space in a galaxy of insanity.

    Fact: Teegeeack was once part of a 76 planet confederation. Although nothing more than a galactic trash dump prison planet, it was on Teegeeack where the past uncovered our future and one man discovered the only truth worth knowing.

    As part of our stat submittal this week, we are recommending Ideal Orgs for each of the original Confederation planets. We’ll first need a committee of OTVIII’s to establish comm lines for each planet and introduce them to the tech. But the possibilities for growth are astounding.

    How about the PR? We can then announce Scientology as the first religion to expand outward into the galaxy. Other religions will demand to know our secrets….and it will all be done under the beneficent leadership of the Chairman, Pope David I.

    Scientology….clearing the universe since 1952.

    Liked by 1 person

  9. I believe we are all victims of an SP transcriptionist! This picture is not “Long Island OTs”…..it is supposed to say “Long Island Iced Teas”.

    Liked by 1 person

  10. Oh WOW WOW WOW!!!!! How do I get some of whatever these folks are suped up on? I want to BE like these people, DO what they do, HAVE what they have!!!!!!!


    Liked by 1 person

  11. Speaking of islands in the frozen north, what about building Ideal Orgs on the islands in the Arctic portion of “Canada,” that rural area of upstate New York north of Buffalo? They have quite a few big islands with burgeoning native Inuit populations.

    And for the few months a year that the various channels and straits are ice-free, the Canadian islands could be a fertile cruising ground for the Freewinds, especially if they could reinforce the by now paper-thin hull plates that have worn away from the inevitable rust and corrosion over the last 50 years.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Al Gore approached we in RTC asking for millions of dollars to help us plan our Ideal Org strategy for the near future when the glaciers melt and the coastal cities are flooded. COB actually snookered Gore into taking the deed to our NYC ideal Org in exchange for 1,000,000 acres of land his VC firm owns in the North Pole, a land of beautiful sadness that lies north of Canada.

      True, the acreage is currently buried under two miles of ice, but Mr. Gore has assured us the ice will melt by 2017 after which we can begin to mine the 900 million ounces of gold that lay buried under the ice. Moreover, Mr. Gore assures us that this land has more oil under it than Saudi Arabia. COB is already assembling a group of Sea Org wildcatters to begin drilling through the ice next week.

      COB plans to use part of this future gold and oil fortune to purchase Canada from the cash-strapped City of Buffalo. COB will then declare Scientology to be the official religion of Canada.

      COB’s strategic vision knows no boundaries.

      Liked by 1 person

      • AlGore and COB….Wow!! We’re talking titanic a battle of disingenuous miscreant titans intent on nothing more than relieving fools from their scratch. Sounds like a made for prime time episode of MTV’s “Celebrity Deathmatch”…

        PT Barnum could be the referee…

        Liked by 1 person

  12. Keep dreaming, LI Org! These people can’t even pay their rent! They have been sued by their landlord for Non Payment no less than 14 times since 2008, three in the last year alone. Two in the last 5 months!
    NY ecourt record of latest onging xase : WebCivil Local – Case Detail
    Court: Nassau County District Court – 1st District
    Index Number: LT-004529-14/NA
    Case Name: Hicksville Station Plaza Inc. vs. Church of Scientology of Long Island
    Case Type: Landlord and Tenant
    Classification: Non-Payment
    Filing Date: 08/19/2014
    Disposition Date:
    Calendar Number:
    Jury Demand: No
    Judge Name:
    Attorney/Firm(s) For Petitioner – Hicksville Station Plaza Inc.:
    Harvey Fox Attorney Type: Attorney
    1 Old Country Rd Ste 467
    Carle Place, New York 11514-1854
    (516) 742-1344 ext:
    Attorney/Firm(s) For Respondent – Church of Scientology of Long Island:
    Court: Nassau County District Court – 1st District
    Index Number: LT-004529-14/NA
    Case Name: Hicksville Station Plaza Inc. vs. Church of Scientology of Long Island
    Case Type: Landlord and Tenant
    Appearance Information:
    Appearance Date Time Purpose Appearance Outcome Judge /
    Part Motion Seq
    09/24/2014 09:30 AM Hearing Honorable Eric Bjorneby
    09/12/2014 09:30 AM Hearing Adjourned Honorable Eric Bjorneby Landlord/Tenant
    08/29/2014 09:30 AM Hearing Adjourned Honorable Eric Bjorneby Landlord/Tenant

    Liked by 1 person

    • Great job, Mary! That’s Global Capitalism HQ worthy research right there. What a bunch of morons!

      Liked by 1 person

    • Now we have the “Why” for an Ideal Org…no rent to pay…not to mention no mean landlord suing them.

      Can’t even pay their rent and they want an Ideal Org….seriously, if we were sitting there we’d have to raise our hand and in our best tone 40 pop the question, “What are you smoking? We can’t even pay our freaking rent!”

      Liked by 1 person

  13. Even the pizza didn’t help get people there. And who can refuse NY pizza? The photos are quite a statement.

    Liked by 1 person

  14. John P Capitalist: ” especially if they could reinforce the by now paper-thin hull plates that have worn away from the inevitable rust and corrosion over the last 50 years.” no fear for the Fleecewinds has seventeen thousand micro layers of bullshit on the hull, both outside and inside that would keep The Fleecewinds well above the water line, no matter whatever the sailing conditions are, the Fleecewinds will always have adequate bullshit to keep it high and dry.

    Liked by 1 person

  15. i see the “wasband!!!!!!” Looking so slender and “happy” as he can possibly be! He is standing wearing a suit. This really gives be thrills and chills of de – light!
    Still the same old, wretched LI org, that helped to destroy my marriage. carry on

    Liked by 1 person

    • A few inhabitants of a certain subterranean structure mistook him for a security guard, based on where he is standing in that photo. One idiot even said he looks like Vin Diesel. I’m going to go tell that guy that he’s an idiot and it’s not Vin Diesel in the photo.

      Liked by 1 person

  16. maybe that is not him..someone else said that he rarely wears a suit. But I know he bought a used tux for some “events” so who knows.
    BUT he is definitely in the slide show !!! Wowwy Kazowee! So weird to see him (and his Scientology “squeeze” ) having so much ENTHUSIASM!!!!



  17. by the way, if it is Long Island pizza= not good….their water is not New York City Water!!! our water is hard and full of minerals to make the best pizza and bread. But I digress…..These legal difficulties with the rent are caused by the OT personal that run this joint….They are so peppy and happy and bursting with joy! Tone ? ? ? -What a waste of humanity and lives. Thank you so much for these postings…bless you guys and gals on these anti-cult sites.


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