Chairman Miscavige Releases Heroic Documentary of His Conquest Over SP’s!

Chairman.DaveChairman Miscavige today released his long-awaited $250,000,000 documentary. 92 hours in length and filmed in Panavision, this  ecclesiastical extravaganza has a monumental title:

The Glorious Technical Revolution of the Golden Age of Technology Phase II and its Conquest Over the Covert and Overt Enemies of the Church of Scientology in Which Chairman Miscavige Heroically Emerges as the World Savior.

The film will be screened over the next five days in the Great Hall of Exact Data. Attendance is mandatory. Many long and enthusiastic standing ovations are expected. Failure to comply will result in very strict punishments.

A young Scientologist plays Chairman Miscavige and depicts his glorious and smashing series of victories over SP’s, Psychs, and semicolons misplaced by treacherous transcriptionists secretly sent in by SMERSH.

Here we see a rousing and inspiring dramatic scene in which Chairman Miscavige rallies his loyal masses to defeat the Forces of Suppression:

8 responses to “Chairman Miscavige Releases Heroic Documentary of His Conquest Over SP’s!

  1. Who knew those in RTC could dance so daintily and gracefully? And 92 hours is too short for this much theta!!!

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    • What dance are the ‘solid gold patronis maximus dancers’ doing? Is it the Macarena? That is the best dance. If there are too many white guys, just do the ‘chicken dance’. But no ‘what does the fox say’, that dance sucks.

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  2. Never in my life I could imagine having so much case gains from all the theta misunderstood words coming straight from the aesthetic band! This is like our Org Board in motion! Planetary Clearing is a matter of tick tock!

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  3. I was hoping the film would be shown on national television around the world. – I mean, this is MONUMENTAL!!! And Chairman Miscavige needs as much exposure as possible, globally!!!

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  4. What is the price to see it? Surely a great work of art like this isn’t being shown for free.

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  5. Comrade Dr. Frank Wonderman

    Is most heroic and glorious film of Chairman Miscavige. Moreover, free RTC pie, cake, and pizza will be served for the entire duration of the seven day showing.

    Like

  6. Reblogged this on Ozzybud's Blog and commented:
    Classic post!

    Like

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