Our Supreme Scientology Decree is retroactively effective from April 30, 1960 forward and is binding upon all civilizations, planets, moons, and stars in this sector of the galaxy.
“Captain Miscavige” declared Church spokesman Ken Delusion, “is like chrome or the Ark of the Covenant in that he is to be seen but never touched. And indeed, to require our cosmically-important Captain Miscavige deposed in any wog court crosses a dangerous line that threatens all life on the Planet,” declared Church spokesman Ken Delusion.
“Squirreling will also occur if Captain Miscavige is deposed.”
“And so it logically follows that just as certain banks were too big to be allowed to fail in 2008, the reality is that Captain Miscavige is just too big and too important to be deposed in 2014,” Delusion noted.
“And then of course, there is the new Ultra Mark VIII e-meter. With an astounding 50,000x greater sensitivity than the Quantum, Captain Miscavige must be free of all legal entanglements to ensure that each and every person who dwells upon the face of the Earth is allowed to purchase two of these new meters at $5,000 apiece.”
“Whereupon, it becomes evident that Judge Waldrip is an SP attempting to stop the delivery of Scientology by entangling Captain Miscavige the wog legal system,” spokesman Delusion propounded by way of indicting the wog jurist.
“Finally, by way of concluding,” Delusion remarked, “Let us make no mistake about it. Let us not fool ourselves: Attempting to stop the delivery of Scientology is a high crime, and so if anyone needs to be deposed about their crimes it is that highfalutin’ Judge Waldrip himself! How dare he order Captain Miscavige deposed! How dare he indeed!”