We in the Church of Scientology have decreed that our ecclesiastical leader Captain David Miscavige is above the law and therefore cannot be deposed in any wog legal proceeding.
Our Supreme Scientology Decree is retroactively effective from April 30, 1960 forward and is binding upon all civilizations, planets, moons, and stars in this sector of the galaxy.
“Captain Miscavige” declared Church spokesman Ken Delusion, “is like chrome or the Ark of the Covenant in that he is to be seen but never touched. And indeed, to require our cosmically-important Captain Miscavige deposed in any wog court crosses a dangerous line that threatens all life on the Planet,” declared Church spokesman Ken Delusion.
“There will be earthquakes, famines, floods, pestilence, plagues, pandemics, wars, and even asteroids hitting the Earth if Mr. Miscavige is ordered deposed by any wog court of law!”
“Squirreling will also occur if Captain Miscavige is deposed.”
“And so it logically follows that just as certain banks were too big to be allowed to fail in 2008, the reality is that Captain Miscavige is just too big and too important to be deposed in 2014,” Delusion noted.
“For example, Captain Miscavige just single-handedly saved Ireland from drug abuse and drug crime. And he is busy, busy, busy, saving other countries and continents as well!”
“And then of course, there is the new Ultra Mark VIII e-meter. With an astounding 50,000x greater sensitivity than the Quantum, Captain Miscavige must be free of all legal entanglements to ensure that each and every person who dwells upon the face of the Earth is allowed to purchase two of these new meters at $5,000 apiece.”
The new Ultra Mark VIII e-meter is far more important than any so-called deposition of Captain Miscavige in some dead-in-the-head wog courtroom.
“Whereupon, it becomes evident that Judge Waldrip is an SP attempting to stop the delivery of Scientology by entangling Captain Miscavige the wog legal system,” spokesman Delusion propounded by way of indicting the wog jurist.
“Finally, by way of concluding,” Delusion remarked, “Let us make no mistake about it. Let us not fool ourselves: Attempting to stop the delivery of Scientology is a high crime, and so if anyone needs to be deposed about their crimes it is that highfalutin’ Judge Waldrip himself! How dare he order Captain Miscavige deposed! How dare he indeed!”
Categories: OTVIIIisGrrr8!
OTVIIIisGrrr8! 
Starting a routing form for the RPF right now for my math fail. That should have been 11,975,000. It’s apparent to me that I have massive hidden crimes against COB.
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Couldn’t COB just testify out-of-body by sending his thetan doppelganger to Texas for the deposition? Shouldn’t Judge Waldrip allow that type of interview for a busy religious leader?
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Brilliant idea, he could pack it in dry ice and ship it in a cube Xenu-style!
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I hear DC8’s are good for transporting those dry-iced thetans.
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It’s every scientologist’s on this planet moral obligation to write Things That Shouldn’t Be Report, Injustice Report and even a full blown KNOWLEDGE REPORT on this SP wog judge and the entire state of Texas!
RTC had to bypass IJC and issue a Non-Enturbulation Order for Mr. Waldrip! One more enturbulation will result in the aforementioned offender to be summoned to the scientology Court of Ethics.
Millions are watching! Justice forever!
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Dodo hit the nail on the head…Admiral Miscaviage is no more beholden to obey a deposition summons from Judge Waldrip’s kangaroo court than Judge Waldrip himself is likely to obey a summons to appear before an IJC Eccelesiastical Courtroom to answer charges of high crimes and treason against a Supreme Big Being. Scientology’s team of 10,000 lawyers are at this moment continuing their work of preparing a summons for Judge Waldrip to appear and testify on charges of high crimes and treason against not only the church, but more importantly against COB himself.
It is understood that once Judge Waldrip receives his summons, he will receive a cognition (thus far elusive) that efforts to undermine COB are as ridiculous and foolhardy as counting the grains of sand at a beach.
The basic tenets of religious freedom as set forth by the founder clearly spell out not only the necessity of squashing one’s opponents like a bug through any means necessary, but also the infallible truth of all that is Scientology.
Should Judge Waldrip proceed, his name will replace that of Pontius Pilate as the man who set in motion a martyrdom forever changing the world.
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You’re right about how much worse Waldrip will be than Pilate. Jesus was only a clear while COB is at least an OTXVI! He is the most ecclesiastical ecclesiastical in the known universe and the man with the most straight-uppiest and veriticaliest stats anywhere!!!!!!!!!
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Important update! Yesterday, RTC employees had the honor of personally witnessing COB’s “number of ecclesiastical ethics actions performed on degraded beings” stat reach an all time high!!!!!!! Another triumph for the man who is single handedly responsible for every big win that his flock has experienced over the past 28 years, while bearing no fault, whatsoever, for any actions involving bad publicity, criminal charges, and/or law suits.
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According to LRH, Jesus was a Clear and at the same time a hypnotic implant. Go figure.
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Wow, what an incredible, heartfelt message! Thank you, thank you, thank you OTVIII. I am so grateful for this convincing, forceful, and rational clarification. Captain Miscavige is simply too big and too important to be deposed now, or at any other time for that matter. Well said. Why don’t those stupid wog bastards understand?
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No kidding…
Processing the sheer enormity of truth contained in the statement “Church of Scientology Leader David Miscavige Is Above the Law and Cannot be Deposed” blew me 50 feet out of my head. I might need to self medicate using prescription strength homeopathic medicinal herb just to come back down.
This is true.
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It’s high time that Miss Laurisse “Lou” Stuckenbrock step up and confess that she is the mastermind behind all Scientology harassment. Capt. David Miscavige had nothing to do with this and need not be deposed. Move on… nothing to see here, there’s a planet that needs clearing.
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What is the world coming too, when a wog judge feels he can request the pope of scientology presence in a wog courtroom?? The world has gone mad! What’s next? Shelly, could be deposed as well?
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“Our decree is binding upon the entire human race.” COB had better watch out for us THINGS, then…
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There will be earthquakes, famines, floods, pestilence, plagues, pandemics, wars, and asteroids hitting the Earth even if Grand Fleet Enema MIscavige is deposed. Those are natural forces that no OT has yet publicly tamed. It is time for those hardy, unsung heros of OTness to come forward and tell of all the disasters their OT powerz have prevented. Besides, the CO$ needs the good PR.
There is only one way to avoid depositions, The POPE OF $CIENTOLOGY must make Clearwater Florida an independent country subject to his just and mighty rule. Only diplomatic immunity {like the Roman Catholic Pope has} can protect him. Though it didn’t do that Indian ‘diplomat’ any good when caught underpaying her ‘housekeeper’. Fortunately, courts have ruled that CO$ is not subject to wage laws. How does COB feel about a full cavity search? Is he for or against?
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Dave is innocent!
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You guys are fun! I have been praying and praying for a miracle-who knows? prays can come true.
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Don’t worry I have a plan.
As Daves biggest fan I am willing to undergo extensive reconstructive/plastic surgery to become the spitting image of the great man himself.Thus sparing Dave from the indignity of being dragged into some silly wog lawsuit.
I have been working on his voice for years and have got his tedious , annoying squeak down pat.
Unfortunately there are a couple of problems as I am 6ft 1 and have a pretty laid back personality. I cant help with the height issue but if I have access to alot of cheap whisky and a quality horse steroid I think I can copy his demeanour as well.
Let me know what you think.
Also when is ot8isgreat going to get the Freedom medal?I mean the guys lips are never more than 2 inches from Daves ass at all times.If there were more people like him there would less people like Rinder,Ortega,Rathburn etc.
Give em hell 8
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Update:
After realizing that his current strategy is not working, David Miscavige has created a new video for his lawyers to play for the judge – designed as a sympathy plea. Check it out at: http://youtu.be/UEaKX9YYHiQ
🙂
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David Miscavige is the law in his and his dozens of followers will attest to ,and can never been bought before a wog court, he is to big and valuable an assett to fail.
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I think David Miscavige is an asshole and needs to be deposed……and put away…….forever! There….I said it!
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I´ve read on the internet that David Miscavige is obsessed with sucking cock on Hollywood Boulevard. I find that pretty disgusting – and you good people should too!
There…….I did it again. I said exactly what I was thinking.
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