Criminal defense attorney Philip Cohen declared today that his client David Miscavige was in Russia with his friend Vladmir Putin when $30 million in cash was stolen from a Los Angeles storage […]
Captain David Miscavige’s personal Vedic astrologer Jyotisha-Vastu declared the impending solar eclipse to be a message from L. Ron Hubbard on Target 2. “The solar eclipse is a sign form SOURCE!,” Jyotisha-Vastu […]
Spacelord Xenu, the Supreme Ruler of all Galaxies in this sector of the universe, announced today that he has retired his obsolete fleet of DC-8 spaceplanes and has replaced them with a […]
“Millions of tourists visit the Hollywood sign each year, so it made sense for Scientology to spend $250 million to dismantle and relocate its iconic Pac Base to a site just below […]
Scientology lawyer E. Stuart Mills Explains why Scientology Leader David Miscavige is 100,000,000% more popular than Taylor Swift. Mr. Mills also propounds other remarkable truths to the 12.4 billion Scientologists on this […]
Scientology Lawyer E. Stuart Mills Answers Your Questions (Satire). Disclaimer: Mr. Mills reserves the right to not answer any of your questions; to be evasive; to outflow false data; to obfuscate; and […]
Fictional Internet Lawyer E. Stuart Mills answers questions on behalf of his clients the Church of Scientology and the Religious Technology Center. Ask Mr. Mills anything. Mr. Mills reserves all rights to […]
Scientology Sues LAPD for $100 Million; Alleges Breach of Contract for Not Jailing TikTok Crew (Satire)
Furtive and discarnate agents of SIG LLC penetrated David Miscavige’s Secret Occult Inner Zoom Circle (SOIZC). The SOIZC is where David Miscavige and his avaricious hirelings receive TOP SECRET instructions from L. […]
OTVIIIisGrrr8! 