Facebook Stock Price Hammered Due to Its Attacks on Scientology!

Posted on July 26, 2018 | 5 comments

“Facebook shares have been hammered in the last two days,” said Scientology spokesman Ken Delusion.

“Here is the cold-blooded truth: Facebook pulled in the worst-ever single day stock market statcrash because it allowed hundreds of millions of people to attack Scientology on Facebook!”

“The only way Mark Zuckerberg can hope to save his company is by coming to his senses and removing all of the SP’s and content from Facebook that is critical of Scientology — and the same holds true of Twitter, Instagram, and YouTube!”

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US Federal Judge James Whittemore Approves of Scientology’s Use of the Guillotine to Behead SP’s

Posted on July 24, 2018 | 8 comments

In a ruling handed down today in the US Middle District of Florida Federal Court, Judge James Whittemore affirmed the Church of Scientology’s religious right to “hunt down and guillotine Suppressive Persons.”

Citing the First Amendment, Judge Whittemore made it clear in his ruling that the Government may not interfere in religious tribunals. “As offensive as it may be to some, Scientology’s right to hunt down, capture, and transport across state lines any and all SP’s (including minor children) and publicly execute them at Ideal Orgs is a protected religious sacrament in which the court may not interfere.”

“However, Scientology’s sale of tickets to the general public who wish to view these executions is not an exempt activity,” Judge Whittemore held in his ruling. “Therefore, Scientology must declare the income from these ticket sales as non-exempt and pay taxes on this secular income.”

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Scientology Warning: Marijuana Was Created Eons Ago by Alien Botanical Psychiatrists! Don’t Use Xenu’s Weed!

Posted on July 18, 2018 | 15 comments

Scientologist Dr. John Mappin educates and warns the wog public why no one should ever use Xenu’s weed a/k/a marijuana:

Xenu’s Weed was created eons ago by mal-intentioned botanical psychiatrists! Here are raw meat wogs after smoking one marijuana at a rave; this is what Xenu’s Weed will do to you:

The only hope for people who smoke Xenu’s Weed is Narconon!

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Scientology Sizzling Summer Special: Buy a Copy of Dianetics & Receive a Free DVD of Gotti!

Posted on July 14, 2018 | 1 comment


How can you lose with L. Ron Hubbard and John Gotti? They go together like money and laundering! Quantities limited to stock on hand, which is to say we in Scientology have to unload 5,000,000 surplus copies of both.

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David Miscavige Wardrobe Malfunction Leads to a Morals Charge; Big Pharma Behind the Plot!

Posted on July 12, 2018 | 4 comments

DM.Compromising.Position

“It’s not what it looks like,” said Scientology spokesman Ken Delusion. “The Brigadier General was merely helping COB RTC Mr. David Miscavige with a wardrobe malfunction.”

“That this was escalated into a morals charge of public lewdness and the arrest of both men by the authorities in Barbados is a disgrace!” roared Delusion.

“Big Pharma was clearly behind this attempt to embarrass the world’s greatest ecclesiastical leader as he was being awarded the Velveeta Cheese Company’s Medal for Ease of Spreadability in the religious products sold by we in Scientology.”

 

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Sizzling Summer Scientology Bonus Offers!

Posted on July 7, 2018 | 4 comments

Special Scientology Bonus Offers:

1. Prepay for your OT levels today and receive 250,000 free fake Twitter followers! You can be a theetie-wheetie dilettante public Scientologist with lots of fake followers just like Joy Villa or Stacy Francis!

You can use your fake followers to attack “that show” on “that network” by “her.”

SFF,10

2. If you’re an OT and you join staff you’ll receive 2,500,000 free fake Twitter followers! Imagine the impact you can have on Scientology’s fourth dynamic salvage campaigns with that many fake followers!

OT.Planet

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Church of Scientology Reaches Out to Incels

Posted on July 3, 2018 | 4 comments

Incels — involuntarily celibates — are a subclass of male losers who lurk on the dark web. Women avoid incels for many reasons, but mostly because incels are racist, angry, dull, unattractive, women-hating misogynists who have no desirable qualities. Derided as permavirgins, incels are doomed to a 2Dless existence.

However, the good news for Incels is that Scientology can do something about it!

Scientology can even help George Ingram Insailes, the King of Incels.

NORMIES & CHADS

As opposed to Incels, there are Normies and Chads. According to Incel culture, Normies are able to date women and have relationships whereas Chads are super studs. Thanks to Scientology, Tom Cruise is a Chad! In fact, Tom Cruise is Chad Thundercock, the King of Chads!

Tom Cruise is Scientology’s Chad Thundercock!

Scientology’s secret OT voodoo can turn even the most pathetic Incel into a Chad Thundercock!

The answer is to do Scientology’s Super Power Rundown at Flag Land Base in Clearwater, Florida.

Become a Chad Thundercock today! Do Super Power! You have nothing to lose but your virginity and $250,000!

Chad.Not

Incel and permavirgin Doug Dweebner of Cedar Rapids, Iowa went from Incel to a Chad Thundercock after doing Scientology Super Power!!! You can too!!!

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