Alien Abduction Incident Report. January 1, 2022. 0632 Hours. Clearwater, Florida. As he walked the quiet early morning streets around Flag Land Base, Space Admiral David Miscavige was abducted by a marauding […]
We in Scientology hasten to remind the public that we are the most ethical group on the planet. There has never been any “Chase Wave” or even a scintilla of financial irregularity […]
Upon learning that a janitor found $600,000 in cash and checks hidden inside a bathroom wall in Joel Osteen’s church, Scientology leader David Miscavige has ordered all bathroom walls in Scientology ripped […]
If Sharon Gilbert had the exact Scientology technology for fending off unwanted midnight alien sexual advances then the Xerxes impersonator would have never accosted her in her own bed. Worse, Sharon’s husband […]
“How the f*ck does this happen?” screamed COB RTC Mr. David Miscavige. “How does a breakfast sandwich outsell Scientology for 50 years?” “The agonized fate of every man, woman, and child on […]
“From BT’s to lava flows, volcanoes have been the bane of Scientology’s existence for 75 million years.” — Dr. Ken Delusion, Nuclear Physicist. “So long as the MEST Universe, volcanoes, Targs, Marcabian Implanters, […]
“Even with his head temporarily swollen by a Botox malfunction, Maverick is readying Top Gun 2 for a theatrical release in the next few years,” said assistant second unit apple box manager […]
After taking down the racist Civil War era monument of Robert E. Lee, a few Virginians were perplexed to awaken this morning and find it replaced by a giant bust of 1950’s […]
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