Coming to Scientology TV: A new action show featuring the adventures of The E-Meter Squad. Join this tough new crew of Flag-trained sec-checkers each week as they ferret out hidden masturbators, thought criminals, […]
The E-Meter Squad
David Miscavige Approves the Use of the Ouija Board to Replace the E-Meter
“Due to the global electronics shortage, we in Scientology are facing a 208-week backorder on repair components for our 21-year-old fleet of Ultra Mark VII e-meters,” said Ricky Rockslammer of Golden Era […]
You Say This Wasn’t in Your Plan
A Scientology Tradition: The Thanksgiving Day Family Sec Check
“The Scientology Thanksgiving day tradition of a family sec check is one cherished by all Scientologists due to its power for revenge within the family,” explained Chaplain Ken Delusion. “Has grandpa been […]
Scientology Needs Bureaucrats
“Sea Org bureaucrats who conduct routine staff brainwashing perform a vital function within Scientology,” explained Dr. Hubbard. “Outsiders think of Scientology as a sinister and vindictive revenge-driven organization and we are very […]
Scientology Declares Los Angeles “The City of Bigots” as Karen Bass wins Mayoral Race
“Forget the City of Angels,” declared the very angry Scientology ecclesiastical leader David Miscavige. “Los Angeles is now the City of Bigots because its new Mayor Karen Bass is a bigot who […]
Scientology Religious Worker Danny Duncan Arrives in Scientology Mexico
Scientology religious worker Danny Duncan arrived today at a remote Scientology center in Sonora, Mexico as part of an RTC Mission to improve statistics. Duncan’s assignment is of indefinite duration, perhaps decades, […]
FBI Identifies Space Lord Xenu as the Ultimate Source of All Conspiracy Theories
FBI Director Christopher Wray today confirmed that the FBI’s elite Intergalactic Terrorist Space Unit (ITSU) has positively identified Space Lord Xenu as the creator and source of all conspiracy theories circulating on […]
Only Scientology Can Help Americans with Their Fear & Terror of the Impending 2022 Midterm Elections
Which do you fear more:Evil Nazi Republicans ____________ Weakheaded Libturd Dumbocrats ______________ Midterm Elections _______ BT’s _____ Waking Up With Donald Trump Next to You in Your Bed ____________________ Colonoscopies ___________________ David […]
Deep State Plot Exposed by Scientologist Tom Cruise: Elon Musk is a CIA Agent Who Purchased Twitter in Order to Destroy Twitter!
“Sometimes it takes a secret agent to catch a secret agent,” declared Tom Cruise a/k/a Ethan Hunt during a press conference held at Scientology Media Productions in Hollywood. Cruise, 60, displayed Elon […]
OTVIIIisGrrr8! 