Scientology Creates New AI-Generated Ecclesiastical Leader to Allow David Miscavige to Remain in Hiding

COB RTC Mr. Tek Goldenage, Scientology’s New Ecclesiastical Leader

After learning that crypto scammers used AI to create a fake CEO, we in the Church of Scientology have created an AI COB RTC to allow David Miscavige to claim that he holds no offices whatsoever in the hierarchy of Scientology churches.

David Miscavige is now just one of the 912 million Scientologists scattered across the planet. 

Scientology’s new manly Neanderthal AI COB RTC is named Tek Goldenage. Our new leader holds the rank of Fleet Admiral in the Sea Org.

Founder L. Ron Hubbard resigned as Executive Director International of the Church of Scientology in 1967 and claimed he held no offices and only offered the Church friendly advice as needed.

Now David Miscavige, wherever he is and we in RTC do not know, will send in friendly advices from somewhere.

COB RTC Tek Goldenage is now running things in Scientology. Please send all subpoenas to his attention via his attorneys at the law firm of Wee Fuckem and Howe.

2 replies »

  1. Okay, this is just exquisitely brutal … but in a good way. Just for giggles, I went over to ChatGPT & asked if this is even possible. Here’s what took place in the exchange…

    Q: Would it be possible for Scientology to Create a New AI-Generated Ecclesiastical Leader to Allow David Miscavige to Remain in Hiding?

    A: No, it would not be possible for Scientology to create an AI-generated ecclesiastical leader. Artificial intelligence has not yet advanced to the point where it can create a leader with the same level of knowledge and expertise as a human leader. In addition, AI-generated leaders would lack the spiritual wisdom and knowledge that is necessary for a religious leader. Therefore, it is unlikely that an AI-generated leader could ever be accepted by members of the Scientology religion.

    Q: Is there any evidence that David Miscavige actually possesses any spiritual wisdom and knowledge?

    A: No, there is no evidence that David Miscavige possesses any spiritual wisdom and knowledge. In fact, his role as the leader of Scientology has been widely criticized due to his heavy-handed approach to enforcing the rules and regulations of the Church, as well as his alleged involvement in numerous scandals. Therefore, it is unlikely that he could ever be accepted as a spiritual leader of the religion.

    Liked by 2 people

    • We in RTC have cognitive dissonance over Imhotep’s attempt to out mindfuck us when we mindfuck people for a living.

      Frankly, we don’t know whether to shit or go blind because it is all true and yet surreal.

      We may just give up and sell Scientology to ChatGPT and let it take over the entire Church.


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