“Tens of millions of now older Scientologists never attained the State of Clear in this lifetime,” declared Scientology spokesman Ken Delusion.
“There were many barriers to attaining Clear,” Delusion noted. “Suppression, money, entheta, Black PR, implants, or just succumbing to the traps of the R6 Reactive Mind are the most commonly cited reasons.”
“There is hope however,” Delusion announced. “Older Scientologists can now donate to the “I’m Going Clear in My Next Lifetime!” Club.
“Paying now to go Clear in your next lifetime locks in the price at $150,000. This is a guarantee against the certain ravages of inflation!”
“All Scientologists need to do right now is merely donate the money. When they pick up a new body and start their next lifetime, they simply report to their nearest Ideal Org, give us their past lifetime name and address, and we will immediately route them onto their Bridge to Clear!”
“How can you possibly lose on an offer this good?” Delusion asked.