“The Freewinds was steaming through the Suez Canal to deliver the OT levels to millions of Muslims in the Middle East clamoring for Scientology,” explained Scientology spokesman Ken Delusion.
“The Muslim world knows that Scientology can bring peace to the war-torn region just as Scientology ended the drug wars in Colombia.”
“But Big Oil had other plans as it profits from a state of perpetual war in the Middle East. Likewise, the Psychs want continuous war as it booms the sale of their feel-good Psych drugs!”
“To stop Scientology from bringing peace to the Middle East, Big Oil and Big Pharma conspired to ground the world’s largest container ship at the critical chokepoint in the Suez Canal! We in Scientology have exposed this nefarious plot!”
“We in Scientology are handling this situation by making OT postulates that the the waters will magically rise in the Suez canal and thereby the refloat the grounded leviathan,” Delusion declared. “In the meantime,” Delusion noted, “The Freewinds crew desperately needs emergency cash donations to pay for their food and fuel and a new engine.”
Categories: OTVIIIisGrrr8!
OTVIIIisGrrr8! 
As OTVIIIisGrrr8’s older brother, OTVII Master Bates, I commend and co-sign his ongoing scientological exegesis. VWD and continue that, ahem…motion…broseph…😉😎
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Well the good news arrived on my Telex Machine this morning: the cargo ship stuck in the Suez Canal has been floated and all is well. The OT postulates worked!!! Of course they do when the Tech is applied 100% in a 100% standard way 100% of the time. And no, just because the stuck ship was freed at the same time that the tide was high doesn’t mean that the OT postulates didn’t work. That’s just the wog shore story put out by the Psychs to degrade the only workable Tech on the planet. Besides, the important thing here is that the Freewinds will be able to deliver countless hours of OTness to countless hordes of clamoring Muslims with countless hours of highly effective Big League Sales regging techniques. That means cash and lots of it!!!!!
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