Scientology Leader David Miscavige Receives a Solid Gold Toilet for His 60th Birthday

COB RTC Mr. David Miscavige received a $5 million dollar solid gold toilet from the Sea Org as an acknowledgement of all that he has done for the Church of Scientology.

Mr. Miscavige used a foot stool to clamber aboard the golden throne for a test ride and was pleased. Whereupon, Danny Sherman pronounced the golden vessel a Currus Deorum.

Mr. Miscavige, who has been hiding out to avoid service of subpoena in several lawsuits in which he is named as a defendant, said he plans to spend his birthday on his new toilet talking to his many attorneys.

7 replies »

  1. A currus deorum for a mentor stultorum. I see they skimped the extra $1m for a lid that closes, thus giving everyone nearby an extra dose of Rear Admiral Miscavige’s aerosol-borne bottom-bacteria each time he flushes. Assuming that’s Hanebisho Luxury Japanese Classic TP (at $17 per roll) in the holder πŸ˜‰

    Liked by 1 person

    • Fleet Admiral Miscavige has ordered the IAS to gift him a golden toilet seat lid to complete the Royal Commode. The Fleet Admiral does not wish to risk a glimpse into the bowl. As for wiping, COB uses mink pelts only. These minks are grown on the enclosed and refrigerated RTC mink farm for COB’s exclusive use. Once a pelt is used, it is disposed of like a bad BT.


  2. Whilst it is entirely proper and deserving for the world leader of the fastest growing and coolest religion on Teegeeack to receive such a gift from his faithful servants, has any thought been given to the most vital accoutrements for this sanitary essential?

    The Scientology Orgs and are always well stocked with toilet paper and and surely an adequate supply should also have been included with this magnificent birthday gift.


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