Do you have what it takes to be the fourth Mrs. Tom Cruise?
Open enrollment for Tom Cruise wife auditions runs through December 2019. Please send photos and your all-important incisor teeth dimensions with your application. You will need to include a certified copy of your Scientology training and processing levels.
Joy Villa is already scheduled for her Tom Cruise wife audition. Joy was previously married to a short man and this is 10 points in her favor. However, she is a Clear but has not yet gone OT. This puts her in the non-interference zone between Clear and OT. Being in this danger zone deducts 25 points from Joy’s application: “Clears are at risk,” the Founder warned us.
All applicants must sign a contract acknowledging that Tom Cruise and David Miscavige have an unusually close relationship. As such, David Miscavige will be there for the wedding, honeymoon, and will play an omnipresent role in Tom’s fourth marriage.