Scientology in a Crisis of Excess Carpeting & Floor Space

The Scientology Emergency Plenary Committee on Excess Carpeting & Floor Space Meets to Discuss the Crisis

“Scientology’s straight up and vertical expansion over the years has created a crisis of excess carpeting and floor space,” declared ED Daphne Dimwit of the San Fernando Valley Ideal Org.

“The carpet cleaning and maintenance bills are killing us here at the Valley Org,” lamented ED Dimwit. “We have a cavernous empty main room that was only used once this past month — and that was for a half-day photo op of the Emergency Interfaith Committee.”

“We at the Valley Org would be so much better off selling the building to a real church and just meeting over at Nancy’s house once a month. The same is true of the other Ideal Orgs. They’re all just so big and empty.”

5 replies »

  1. It’s high time Daphne came to her senses and stopped whining or she’s be on punishment detail for the rest of her Sea Org contract. Lifetime after lifetime. Sad.

    Carpet cleaning and building maintenance? That’s what her staff are there for until the glorious expansion of Scientology gathers momentum. Which will be tomorrow of maybe the day after!

    Liked by 2 people

  2. I know what is going on at the San Fernando Valley Ideal Org. It’s the same thing that is going on at all of the other Ideal Orgs. I showed up for course one fine day and asked the Course Sup why the Academy was empty. Instead of giving me a steely-eyed glare and asking me “what do your materials state?”, he just laid it out for me. As a result of the unprecedented popularity of Scientology TV, all staff and publics are engaged in Body Routing and handing out The Way To Happiness booklets.

    I almost wrote a Knowledge Report on myself for thinking this was bullshit cuz I saw Authur from Qual and Diana from Treasury working at the nearby Carls Jr. flipping burgers instead of being on post. Also, I’m pretty sure it was Marc from HCO dressed as a homeless guy panhandling down on the corner of State and Main. I know this cuz he was sitting on a big bundle of TWTH and asking passers-by if they could spare cig instead of offering them life saving Tech from the Founder. I’m not even going to tell what I saw our local OSA gal doing in a side alley, but it was disgusting and more than just a little bit out-2D although her “customer” certainly had VGIs!!!!!

    Liked by 1 person

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