“Declaring the internet to be proveable bullshit, we in the Scientology Sea Org are preparing to wage war against rationality, reason, sanity, and all other manifestations of the internet,” declared Fleet Admiral David Miscavige.
“The internet is the reactive mind writ large in cyberspace. Whereupon,” declared the Fleet Admiral, his pompadour glistening in the sunlight from a fresh application of mink oil, “we in Scientology shall commence to destroy the internet and all of the massive and vomit-spewing suppression it embodies.”
“Out beta test proved that we could knock out Spectrum broadcast signal in Clearwater. Now it’s time to turn the Hubbard Model 47 Spectrum Jammer up to 11 and block all internet signal across the entire planet!” cackled the Fleet Admiral.