Kim Jong-un Attains State of Clear in Scientology!

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North Korean leader Kim Jong-un has just reached the State of Clear at Scientology’s Pyongyang Ideal Org.

“I’m so happy to have finally reached the State Clear! I’ve eradicated my reactive mind forever!” enthused Kim Jong-un. “No more engrams, irrational computations, or sicknesses! I now have a perfect memory, a 190 IQ, and can read a 1,000 page book in ten minutes with full comprehension.”

“As the world’s first Cleared Communist, I can now rationally and sanely realize my goal of destroying America and all of the other running dog Imperialists in the West! Thank you COB RTC David Miscavige! You are a superman just like me!”

4 responses to “Kim Jong-un Attains State of Clear in Scientology!

  1. Having attained the exalted State of Clear puts Mr. Kim smack dab in the Non-Interference Zone. Let the real fun and case gain begin!!!!! After a trip to the Reg’s office of course.

    P.S. May I ask what Status Mr. Kim has reached in the IAS? Surely Uranium Meritorius!!!!

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  2. Is it just the camera-angle and the framed certificate, or has Fat Boy dropped a few pounds lately? With his dicy ankles, it can’t be the Running Program, so it must be the combined laxative effects of mega-doses of niacin, and the Sea Org rice’n’beans diet.

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  3. I guess that explains North Korea lavish but empty buildings, forced abortions and starving people.

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  4. A bridge step no doubt funded by the sale of meth, exotic animal parts, and counterfeit currency… Gettin’ those ethics IN Fat Boi!

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