David Miscavige’s New All White Bedroom

DM.White

After throwing a major ecclesiastical temper tantrum and rather dramatically screaming that his existing bedroom was too dark and depressing, David Miscavige demanded a new white bedroom. “I need white to match my new spring pompadour and suit!” the Scientology Pontiff exclaimed.

The IAS stepped in and generously donated $5,000,000 to fund the Ideal COB Bedroom. A trained crew of Swiss experts demolished COB’s old $2,500,000 bedroom that featured the finest in imported zebra wood, Italian marble, and a luxurious comforter made from the oily pelts of rare Amazonian beavers. This comforter was not wasted. An errant RTC executive was rolled up into the comforter; whereupon she was bound in it by ropes and thrown into a nearby raging river swollen by snow runoff. But that is not the point.

The point is that COB has a fabulous new white bedroom for spring. This bedroom features a set of matching Schonbeck 6967-26TK Swarovski Sophia chandeliers. And, per RTC policy, COB’s new bedroom features a high-speed magnetic rail escape tunnel that ultimately leads to the Nirvana of Bulgravia.

2 responses to “David Miscavige’s New All White Bedroom

  1. Is that a photo of Shelly on the low credenza below that stunning shot of Tom? We all look forward to the day when Shelly decides to back off a bit from her intense, highly dedicated, selfless work at Twin Peaks and return to COB’s side to help him usher in a Golden Age of Expansion now that the SMP facilities are getting into high gear and cranking out pure broadcasting theta 24/7!!! Do you think there will be any chance at all that Shelly will generously take some time from her schedule to at least make a cameo appearance along side a portrait of Mary Sue, the original First Lady of Scientology? I surely do hope so, I surely do.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. COB wants to be just as stylish as Liberace was!! White suits and a fancy new pompadour!! The ultimate in metrosexual fashion!

    Liked by 1 person

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