“The World Holiness Ordained Religious Educators Society has unanimously voted the Reverend David Miscavige the “Best Religious Leader in the World” for the 27th consecutive year in a row,” declared Church of Scientology spokesman Ken Delusion.
World Holiness Ordained Religious Educators Society chairman and educator Dr. Donald Westcrook presented the trophy to the Rev. David Miscavige at the awards ceremony held at the Scientology Celebrity Centre in Hollywood.”
“Scientology shines as a light in the darkness,” declared Dr. Westcrook. “And so it is that the forces of darkness seek to attack, impugn, and vilify Rev. Miscavige in his unrelenting humanitarian mission to bring sanity, literacy, and effective Scientology solutions for living to the troubled and disturbed Wog World.”
“But beyond his humanitarian mission, Rev. Miscavige also financially subsidizes we who are religious scholars and educators to ensure that a fair and balanced picture of Scientology can be heard over the roar of bitter defrocked apostates, bigots, and those Scientology haters who swim in the filthy entheta-filled swamps of the internet.
“And that is why we of the World Holiness Ordained Religious Educators Society condemn ABC 20/20, St. Martin’s Press, and Silvertail Books in the UK for promoting and publishing an upcoming book the title of which we shall not speak!”
As the Rev. Miscavige was very busy helping handicapped orphans at a nearby orphanage, Mr. Ken Delusion accepted the esteemed Reverend’s 27th consecutive trophy as the World’s Best Religious Leader. The ceremony ended with a prayer for tolerance and human rights.