Reverend David Miscavige Voted “Best Religious Leader in the World”for 27th Consecutive Year!

Trophy

“The World Holiness Ordained Religious Educators Society has unanimously voted the Reverend David Miscavige the “Best Religious Leader in the World” for the 27th consecutive year in a row,” declared Church of Scientology spokesman Ken Delusion.

World Holiness Ordained Religious Educators Society chairman and educator Dr.  Donald Westcrook presented the trophy to the Rev. David Miscavige at the awards ceremony held at the Scientology Celebrity Centre in Hollywood.”

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Rev. David Miscavige

“Scientology shines as a light in the darkness,” declared Dr. Westcrook. “And so it is that the forces of darkness seek to attack, impugn, and vilify Rev. Miscavige in his unrelenting humanitarian mission to bring sanity, literacy, and effective Scientology solutions for living to the troubled and disturbed Wog World.”

“But beyond his humanitarian mission, Rev. Miscavige also financially subsidizes we who are religious scholars and educators to ensure that a fair and balanced picture of Scientology can be heard over the roar of bitter defrocked apostates, bigots, and those Scientology haters who swim in the filthy entheta-filled swamps of the internet.

“And that is why we of the World Holiness Ordained Religious Educators Society condemn ABC 20/20, St. Martin’s Press, and Silvertail Books in the UK for promoting and publishing an upcoming book the title of which we shall not speak!”

As the Rev. Miscavige was very busy helping handicapped orphans at a nearby orphanage, Mr. Ken Delusion accepted the esteemed Reverend’s 27th consecutive trophy as the World’s Best Religious Leader. The ceremony ended with a prayer for tolerance and human rights.

6 responses to “Reverend David Miscavige Voted “Best Religious Leader in the World”for 27th Consecutive Year!

  1. WHORES! Ha ha love it Mr Augustine!

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Reverend Miscavige is also the author of “Ecclesiastical Beatings for Dummies”, a best-seller!

    Liked by 2 people

  3. I understand Warren Jeffs is demanding a recount. As he was quoted in a letter to ‘Cult Leader Quarterly,’ “Scientology is just a third rate snake cult. It’s just that spiffy uniform that get the chicks. That’s all.”

    Liked by 2 people

    • The Rev. Jeffs said he was a) royally pissed off, and b) would call down the wrath of God upon the rigged voting system of WHORES.

      We pointed out to him that, like the caucus system in American presidential primaries, the voting is completely rigged by the establishment. However, we also told him that cash bribes could easily sway the votes of WHORES. And it just so happens that Captain David Miscavige has a lot more cash than that horrendous Mormon squirrel Jeffs.

      Maybe if Jeffs had focused on making money, making more money, and making others produce so as to make more money he would have won 27 years in a row. But no, Jeffs focused on different types of less lucrative felonies than Captain Miscavige.

      Jeffs has no one to blame but himself.

      Liked by 2 people

  4. I for one am thrilled that the W.H.O.R.E.S. have voted once again to name the Right Reverend Admiral David Miscavige the World’s Best Religious Leader. This might seem like a selfless vote for these generally egotistical folks, but in reality, it is a no brainer. Cap’n Miscavige is the clear winner even though he may be something of an upstart in the world of religion’s whole track. For instance, if someone were to vote for dead religious leader like Joseph Smith, L. Ron Hubbard, Jim Jones, Sun Myung Moon, Charles Taze Russell, Maharishi Mahesh Yogi, etc. etc. etc. it would be clear that the vote was rigged because even though these guys were wildly influential in the arena of snake oil sales and healing whatever ails humans in general, the fact is that they are dead. The Ecclesiastic Leader of the Scientology Religion (™, ©,$,®) deserves a great big triple HIP, HIP, WHORE-AH!!!!!!!

    Liked by 2 people

  5. Now, is that WHORES Int or U.S.? (Meaning “World Holiness Ordained Religious Educators Society” International, or for the United States? Or, gee, it could be for Los Angeles. Inquiring minds want to know!)

    Like

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